Monday, January 28, 2013

The not at all accidental tourist

I can't undo the lid. It's stuck. Has it really been that long ? Finally with an exerted twist the lid comes of the deodorant and with a determined push on the roller I can finally use it.

The holiday is over.

Just like that as soon as it started it seemed to end.

And instead of just posting pictures and comments on activities completed, this time we will critically examine "the Tourist"
image courtesy of  shake-speares-bible.com

Lets start with the driving tourist, their behavior during the holiday is incredible. Why people drive stupidly and do things that during the working week they would never contemplate is beyond me.

- speeding up in the overtaking sections so no one over takes them and then slow back down to 85kph once its back to single lanes
- overtaking in a zone that is beyond dangerous on roads they are not familiar with

You can see the driving holiday tourists everywhere, they are the ones that regardless of the weather their determination to do as much as possible is matched only by their determination to push you out of the way to get then best photo.

Some other more amusing things we noted :

- You should not get your son to go for a run if you are only going to follow him in the car with the dog hanging out the window
- I still don’t know how you can run and chew gum at the same time without choking to death on the first hill
- The attitude of small business owners in small towns ranging from the over friendly to the” I prefer it when there are no people around “

and yes I will charge $1.77 for a litre of petrol because you actually need it.

I was however delighted to see that the speed which kids form new relationships hasn't waned as they grow older. That's one thing I hope the guys never grow out of.

I did note after arriving home from a Farmers market one Sunday morning that once again I had fallen for the "try this it's great - you'll love it" and bought another unusual sauce which will spend the the next 3 years in the cupboard right next to the exotic stir fry oil.

I also realised I was not going to get as much of that stick peperoni  I bought as I discover the kids hacking off large chunks 10 minutes after it arrived home. But at least their palates are going to be expanded.

So as the holiday drew to an end and we all shared our favorite moments, we did discover an interesting fact - that you can deliver bad news to anyone if straight after you burst into the Benny Hill theme.

Go on try it....

Sorry sir you have Hydrophobia - da da da dadada na nana etc......


Saturday, January 5, 2013

And at the end of 2012 time for thanks


It’s Boxing Day 2012 and I am sitting in the sun just enjoying the day. We left early for our summer holiday and I have not regretted a thing. The only people on the road were us and the highway patrol looking bored. I felt like stopping each time we saw them and doing a breath test and other checks for them so they weren't so bored. Mind you over the next couple of weeks they will be sorely tested by people not concentrating and just thinking in general “it won’t happen to me”

 I however have now survived

42 Christmases as a human being

15 Christmases as a husband

and 12 Christmases as a Dad.

I have cherished every one of them including the time when I was ten and my parents bought me a Kiss - Gene Simmons doll complete with high heel boots.



Christmas can be a difficult time for everybody. Firstly with all the political correctness gone mad do you even say Merry Christmas any more or is it Happy Holidays ?
Personally I like “ Happy Thank Goodness we made it through another year”. But that’s just me.

Secondly what is with the mad rush to all of a sudden catch up with people you haven’t seen all year ?  If you didn't get to visiting them during the year then they can’t be much of a priority then can they - so why all of a sudden at Christmas ?

Any way every Christmas you get to spend with the people you love is always a good thing because the alternative is crap.

 As I think back about 2012 I always ask the one question that defines my actions – if I had the time over, would I do anything differently ?
Probably not. I might say to The Eldest – hey watch out today you’ll probably fall of the playground and break your arm but that’s about it.

The year ahead looks full of promise with The Eldest going into senior school and beginning the journey towaeldest going into senior school and beggining rds becoming a man and hopefully a productive member of society. The youngest has his favorite teacher back so for once he is looking forward to school. He does still tend to over worry about things (which he gets from me) but I think we can work through that one.

My health kick has survived the roll over from 2012 and the 5th buckle hole on my belt is now tantalizingly close so I am spurred on to continue.

And I have a lot to give thanks for heading into this new year – especially you my loyal readers, who throughout the year have helped motivate me and constantly supported my sometimes odd post timings, without you there would be no blog, so from the bottom of my heart a huge Thank you to you all and Happy 2013 !