The Etiquette of staying at someone else's house

As I walk home past the park full of children football playing in the twilight I am reminded that it will soon be Spring and that brings about the prospect of holidays. As an evangelical proponent of family holidays and driving holidays for that matter, it's inevitable that you are going to have to stay at some point in someone else's home. After all travelling and not visiting any friends in the area would be a little rude, not to mention embarrassing if they find out. (And yes we found out )

Having been on both sides of this delicate coin I can tell you it can go wrong really quickly and really spectacularly. So to avoid this we have developed a couple of strategies.

Staying at someone else's houses really requires a bit of chameleon like behaviours from everyone as you are going to need to assimilate yourselves in to someone else's routines. Not to mention the acceptance of their idiosyncrasies.

The first thing to do before arriving is shopping. No -  not for shoes or clean underwear, they should already be packed. You need to bring food.

In saying that showing up with 36 eggs and 2 kgs of bacon may be interpreted as  "We're concerned about what you are going to serve us for the rest of the day so were filing up early."

Its also not a great idea to request meals other than the one being prepared. It's not a restaurant eat it or don't eat it, I don't care. I'm not meaning to sound rude about it but if you're on holidays the last thing you need is to spend hours in the kitchen.

And no I am not separating the components of stew to only the bits you like, so don't bother asking.

As good a cook as you are , you should only intervene in cooking if the dish/meal is in real danger - of catching on fire.

image courtesy of accessnorthga.com

And of course the golden rule - never touch another mans barbecue unless invited. Even if he severs part of his arm during the cooking - wait until invited as he may choose to cook on through.

In regards to sleeping arrangements, be prepared is my motto for this. When people stay with us we have spare mattresses everywhere, but not everyone has this or the space to accommodate them.
I never have laughed so much at the kids starting out on a nice inflated bed only to wake up in the morning as part of a giant blue child sandwich.

If you have a favourite pillow or have paid more than $10 for the pillow you currently use, by all means take it along.

Cleaning again is something that you should only help where you can. Unless you have the wording of a  career diplomat I would avoid telling someone you are going to mop the floors as this may just come across as a criticism of their current living conditions.

That being said if you have just finished a meal with children and there is more food on the floor than the table it may be OK. Unless they have a dog or a baby- both of which are viable alternatives to vacuum cleaners.

image courtesy of allcouponcodes.info

One of the odd things we noticed has been our/other children travelling in kids travelling in someone else's car to destinations. Nothing is quite as odd as children deciding which car they are going to drive in. This is made all the more amusing when they choose a couple without children. And by amusing I mean for the couple as the children divulge all manner of private conversations about you and your daily routines.

I'm now almost home and the evening sky has started to show some stars and the smell of dinners cooking is creeping around the quietly parked cars. I know that for the time being, I wont have to adjust my routine and that - for the moment - is just the way I like it.

Toilet roulette and road trips

We all know how fond of road trips I am. I see them as the last great travel method (apart from trains which I love). When I think about the road trips I've taken I always have a smile on my face. Don't get me wrong, there are portions of these trips I am sure that my brain has deliberately suppressed- the mind numbing stretches of straight road and more recently the kids niggling each other as we get close to the 10 minute concentration span they currently possess. So we have developed different ways to pass the time in the car  to ensure my blood pressure stays at a reasonable level.

Before I do that lets picture this  : Grand Pa on the Go and the family driving through The Death Valley into Nevada and to keep us entertained ( there were no radio stations) constantly re playing  Sesame Street cassette tapes that we could sing along to.

All 9 of them. Over and Over. Here's an updated version of one of these little treasures

How my parents stayed sane still mystifies me to this day. I see this as the true definition of hard core parenting.

image courtesy of  freefoto.com

If you wish to avoid this and are not interested in an in-car DVD's (or hard core parenting ) you need car games. Here's just two that we use :

The test of Patience - See how many games of eye spy you can play before you lose it completely.
The Crudity test - How many number plates you can turn into words before you resort to vulgar or slang words.
You get the idea.

Many years ago Grand Pa on the Go decided that we were all going to go to Noosa Heads. He was to attend a conference and we would stay on for a while as a family holiday.
This was back way , way, way before it became the thriving Mecca for tourists it is today.  The plan was simple we would drive up the Newell Highway on the way there to arrive quickly and come back along the coast on the way home.

Imagine my delight when I was told I was to sleep on the couch in the living room. Right in front of the TV.  Nothing can go wrong, its bolted to the wall - right ?

I'm sure my disappointment was evident when he trotted off to the car and produced a set of spanners, unbolted the TV, wheeled it into their room leaving me alone in the dark. It still ended up a great holiday and due to the very large pile of beach towels strategically placed between my sister and I by our wise parents the trip home was fine and by now we had graduated to the soundtrack of Grease - The movie.

One of the other treats of the road trip is discovering things. Like discovering that the red food dye in skittles made the Eldest break out in hives. A short trip to a doctors and some anti-histamines rectified this and we soon were back on our way.

Toilet stops are an inescapable part of the travel. You can say 100 or even 1000 times to your children - "take it easy and don't drink that 600ml Coke/Big M/ Gatorade all in one go"

 OR you could just not let them have it.

But for a father of my considerable experience , that's just the easy way out. I like the challenge of the roadside toilet roulette.

image courtesy of abc.net.au

There is nothing like pulling up to a toilet like the one above and opening the door for the first time and in that split second working out  how bad you really have to go. The beloved has passed on many occasions.

The reality of these trips is you will see more of Australia than you ever will by strapping yourself in a giant steel tube and allowing some guy you don't know hurtle you through the air at in-human speeds, to then bounce your way to another place.

And with all the global turmoil and strife sometimes the simple act of taking a photo of the kids, standing next to a roadside marker that was left behind by Bourke and Wills, and the expression on their faces expresses the true gravity and boredom excitement of the moment, is sometimes just priceless.

The July Holiday with added NASA

It's that time of the year when Dad on the Go and family pack up for a week or so and travel the country side. It's the school holidays and in order to get the minions out from behind their video games we get out of the house. So we pack ourselves up and get ready for Family time !
Along the way we remember why it may not be possible to spend long periods of time in confined spaces together , get over this and an hour later start all over again.

The trip to our nations capital now becoming an annual ritual we wanted to ensure we didn't do the same attractions (can you even use that term in Canberra ? ) over and over and so turned our attention to to the other possibilities.

Before that however, as per usual we split up to get to the final destination of Canberra. The eldest and I took the direct traditional politicians route - Flying. So off we went via Virgin Airlines and Canberra International airport, the title of which is a chuckle in itself.

Side note -Big tip to all you traveling dads - you can not put two slices of bread together with cheese in the middle and put it through those big toasters with the conveyor belt system. It will catch on fire.


The Beloved and the youngest decide to go via Rutherglen and a number of side attractions golf courses.

Once in the sunny but freezing suburb of Quanbeyan we had to start to make the hard decisions. The attraction (still not sure about that word) we eventually chose was the deep space communication complex. Its hidden deep in a mobile phone free area about 50km's outside Canberra.
The second you drive through the gates with the NASA logos and the mobiles and electronic equipment warning sign , you know it's going to be cool. They have a model of the Mars Rover vehicles and a complete video walk through of the upcoming Mars landing by the Rover " Curiosity" on the 6th of August. Just standing near these giant structures it is difficult to explain the immense size yet intricate workings that go into each array.

The volunteer inside took the time to explain the whole Mars rover landing process to us and gave us wads of info on how to download the space software the kids were using in the exhibits. The links are here because they are just unbelievable.

http://www.shatters.net/celestia/

http://www.stellarium.org/

 I give this two thumbs up. It's got something for the whole family.

 Then back to our hosts house for a side of lamb and some chickens cooked on the spit and UNO and Red wine. We went via a National park that boasted koala feeding sessions and plenty of wildlife. The Koala wasn't there and I do not consider a lake full of pelicans wildlife. This gets half a thumbs up, mainly because the kids had to walk a long way which is a good thing.

T

As we drove out of Canberra the next the warning lights flashed on the dash that icy roads were likely. With the outside temp at -3 Celsius, it was spot on. As we climbed through the Snowy mountains the temp rose and the sun peeked through the clouds. But our passengers were too busy digesting a lamb.

Arriving at the Gippsland lakes the weather turned on it's charm and tempted us to go fishing. No fish were evident but the views more than made up for this and it turns out you can really enjoy wine if you have a great view and some peace and quiet. Getting this peace and quiet involved sitting 500 meters away from the kids but you get my point.

Once again another great little break provided by this great nation and some great friends. I even managed to learn something along the way.

So I know what I'll be doing on the 6th of August. I'll be watching the landing on Mars and hoping that all goes well for them.

Stop and Enjoy the Scenery (that's an order)

So it's the school holidays and the cult clan has decided we are going on a driving holiday to visit friends interstate. After that we'll take the long way home along the coast, stopping at all the scenic/touristy places. It'll be fun I was assured.

Right now most of you are probably thinking to yourselves "Are they serious?" and I don't blame you. A holiday is meant to be just that - a holiday for all members of the family. Also remembering, I am a cyclist - so I don't do a lot of driving and therefore am a pretty bad driver......... but they were insistent and it was all go.

After I flew into Canberra to meet up with the family, we stayed for a few days with close friends. We went to the War memorial and Questacon during the day and at night we redefined the way you cheat at UNO. Then after parting ways, drove all the way down to Bemm river via Cann river.

Now anyone who has spent any time with  the minions children in a confined space such as the family car, knows that its not just a case of sit back and watch the scenery go by whilst talking maturely about the Australian economy and the impacts of monetary policy.

You actually have to engage with them or they will amuse themselves and not in a way that will assist your blood pressure. Their expectation is that everything will be interesting and worthy of their precious attention span.

We still laugh about the time the kids went to the Dog on the Tuckerbox and when they finally saw it, uttered " Is that it ?" followed by " That is just sooo disappointing"

"You dragged us all the way here to see this ?"

"It's not even the real one !"

So back to our trip.

We ended up stopping about every 2 hours to run around, look at, touch and generally experience this great country we live in and  I actually really enjoyed it.

This was because we didn't do the one thing that all parents have done - "The rush to get there and start holidaying ASAP" - trap.

You see it all the time, people driving/travelling huge distances in a single trip to hurry up and get to where they are going. Everybody is stressed and no-one is having a good time.

So next time you are going somewhere, I highly recommend stopping constantly to look around and who knows what you may find out.

Like we found out that the that the real Ned Kelley suit of amour is actually in the State Library (which is a 15 minute tram ride from our house) and not in his hometown of Glenrowan.