So where abouts is that ?

Picture this - You are at a Party/BBQ/Function that you've been dragged along to with people you just don't know. You're doing the best you can to hold conversations, working through meeting everyone whilst trying to avoid all the pitfalls (you of course have read this post on Dad dating first ) but despite your best efforts you’re down to this.....

The only two questions left if you're meeting someone for the first time and have run out of things to say about your kids or your beloved

or sport

        or the weather.

                    “What do you do for a crust?”

and inevitably 

"Where are you based / is your office ?"

So previously this was not a problem, I worked out of lovely offices in the central business district and people knew the building I worked in. It was easy to describe and even if you weren't familiar with the city you could roughly picture it from the landmarks it was near. I knew all the best places to eat and where to get a good coffee.

Now that I have moved to a Global Organisation that has all changed.

You don't have one particular office that you reside in and the work is where ever you are required.

It's very hard to describe to other people that you have just spent a week being locked away in a hotel room with three other guys working on contract edits for days on end - Trust me it’s a real conversation killer.

And you now no longer have the daily routines that someone with a permanent office has. Not to mention that the perception people have of those who work from home is not exactly glowing (I'm beginning to learn this maybe jealousy).

That aside, now I have to get used to all the changes in my working day / life - for example I don’t have any onsite IT unless the beloved comes in to see why I am swearing at the printer and I have definitely become aware of how much printer ink costs – that stuff is more expensive than petrol !

There is no set start or finish time, the whole thing revolves around when the meetings are or when the project is due. You work when there is work that's required.

There also have been some adjustments between the beloved and I now that I am home a lot more, so it’s now accepted that it’s not OK to be hovering around as she goes about the tasks she normally does day to day

That being said you really start to notice all the things that need doing and cleaning. I have even found the vacuum cleaner (I've not used it but I know where it is…..)

So I decided early on that whilst I took breaks away from my PC (yes I observe OH&S) I would do one extra thing a day to help around the house. First off – The washing.

I had been carefully instructed in the need to separate the clothes into colour types and I had put on the washing and gone back to work.

There was an almighty thumping noise and a dull far away roar. On closer inspection it became clear - that’s what a washing machine spin cycle sounds like if you put way way too many clothes in to wash.

Good to know. Won't happen again.

The number of telemarketer calls you get during the day really makes you wonder why they call when the chances of someone being home are statistically low, for a while I chatted to them, but now I rarely answer as I have all the time-share holidays I need and I’m all raffled out.

So where is it all at after 3 months ? 

The work is interesting and my colleagues are located all over the world which is really cool. The support is excellent and I can pretty much work from anywhere that has electricity and Internet.

On the plus side for the first time ever I have been able to attend some of the kids school activities which is great and that will continue.

On the negative side I found myself yelling at the pigeons who were sitting in the herb pot squashing the coriander.

I think I need to go outside a bit more……..

Keeping your patience in a modern world.....

Patience (or forbearing) is the state of endurance under difficult circumstances, which can mean persevering in the face of delay or provocation without acting on annoyance/anger in a negative way; or exhibiting forbearance when under strain, especially when faced with longer-term difficulties. Patience is the level of endurance one can take before negativity. It is also used to refer to the character trait of being steadfast.

image courtesy of gregory-g-allen.blogspot.com

Try doing the above now days and see how that goes. The entire modern world is completely set to test the patience of everyone a Dad. It can be as simple as your son getting a gift that requires some time to set-up and once this lengthy process is over he/they proceeds to break it in the first minutes of getting it.

I'm blessed with moderately intelligent children so why do they keep asking the same question a thousand times  ?
If I gave them the answered the first time, I am not,  under a weltering barrage of the same question, changing my mind.
I've now started to pretend to think about changing my mind and watch the little spark of hope grow , only for me to stick to my original answer.

It's the same with their homework. I have to count to 100 each time between the insistence that they do their homework to a reasonable standard whilst they maintain "that's all the teacher wanted". That is not the point, I patiently explain while grinding my teeth down to their roots.

And it flows on further to why should I expect them to not questioning you when you ask them to do something. When I was a kid it was simple your parents asked you to do something and off you went and did it. No questions.
Now days you need a full description of why , what the outcome will be and a range of viable options to get your kids to do anything !

I blame myself.

I have to accept that modern society has taught all of us to expect everything instantly. Take Instant Messaging for example, it was invented because people couldn't wait the 7.51 seconds it takes an email to be delivered.

So you see - No one has to wait - you don't have to have patience any more.

Watch what happens in a line for anything where someone is standing behind the person in front who can't decide what they want. You can literally see their patience wear out.

And don't get me started on road rage. Just walk along any street with traffic and watch people safely ensconced in their shiny metal capulses spluttering in apoplectic rage at each other for no apparent reason.

So what do you do. How do you not go postal over the little things ? I do exactly that. I treat them like little things. It doesn't mean I don't get frustrated or angry - I still do that . But over time I just learn to let the world go about its business because I don't want to be the angry old guy yelling at kids to get off his lawn.

I also take the time to be thankful.

image couresy of happyclippings.com

I'm thankful that I can walk out of the house in the morning and the wife has to get the kids to school via the traffic and inter car debates.

I'm thankful that the beloved has a spreadsheet list for shopping, as nothing can quite explain watching people without a shopping list in the supermarket.
It's like babies in a room full of toys, they go one way then see something shiny and rush the other way only to be distracted again by something red.

So as you make your way through this day and the next, look around and you will be surprised to see people losing their patience.

Just try not to let it be at you.........

image courtesy of djibnet.com

Face it Dad, you are not a plumber....

I had an physical altercation with the dishwasher. I know it was wrong  but it was giving me the irits. For the 900th time it had just refused to start and was sounding an annoying alarm complete with a "not listed" in the manual error code.

So now not only did the dishwasher not work but it also now had a series of dint's across the front. These small fist and knee sized marks had caused much heated discussion and angst in the house, so it was decided that a new unit was required.

Being the handyman that I am I confidently declared that not only could I negotiate for the new dishwasher, but that I would save the $95 and install it sans plumber.

After all how hard could it be. I just take out the old unit and slide the new unit in after connecting the hose and the water outlets.  They're all the same after all

Right ?

So a new dishwasher was procured and brought home. (I am not paying $50 for delivery when I can do that myself as well)

An apprentice was selected ( Mr 11) and the cupboard under the sink was cleared so pipes and drain hoses could be disconnected and then the new hoses reconnected. I am constantly amazed at how many vases we own and they all seem to live under the sink ? What are they for ? I certainly don't buy flowers !

1st Problem - the hose could not be disconnected as the spanner was too small. So off to Bunnings we go and these were purchased :

(Now try and show me a tap I can't disconnect !)

So I took out the old unit and left it in the yard appropriately disposed of it and the apprentice and I carefully appraised the situation (opened a beer )

2nd Problem - The new dishwasher has a water  filter/pressure modulator on the end

 ( the big square thingy)

And it doesn't fit in the current hole from the previous dishwasher hose.

A drill and a larger hole is required. So a series of holes around a measured area were drilled and a hammer was employed. The apprentice gets into the cupobaord to ensure that perfection is acheived.

3rd Problem - There is two layers of chipboard where the hole needs to be. The hammer is'nt working, so many more holes are drilled and  the situation appraised ( a second beer is opened) Then more vigorous hammering in undertaken.

The hole is now sufficently large enough to fit.

4th Problem - The hose now fits so I clean the edges of the hole with my hand to ensure nothing impedes the hose or casues problems later on.The cabinet maker used pretty much every nail he had and I felt a sharp pain in my finger. No  time to worry we had work to do. But now blood is dripping on the floor and getting on everything. The hole in my finger was tiny but the blood just kept going.

So after a first aid stop, the situation was appraised ( yep another beer).

The taps are now connected and the drain-hose is fitted (two hose clamps and a heap of four letter words)

Now all to do is slide in the unit and test.

Clunk. The dishwasher hits the bench and stops. We re-angle and try again, Clunk and stop. This can't be happening how can it be too tall ? I measured the gap and compared this with the manual. We get the measuring tape and remeasure the hole and the dishwasher and they are indeed different.

Time and and a lot more cursing goes by.

The apprentice asks about the screw in feet. He is immediately hailed as a genius. The feet are lowered and in slides the unit. We have 10 minutes to get everything back to normal including putting away all those vases, before the lady of the house gets back.

The apprentice says "I can see you love doing this stuff Dad but you're no plumber"

So I have learned an important lesson - Never get into a fight with a dishwasher as they will have the last laugh.

The Inside Totem pole

In many indigenous cultures throughout  North America  it's believed they used totem poles to communicate a wide variety of messages. The Wikipedia entry on Totem poles states:

"The meanings of the designs on totem poles are as varied as the cultures that make them. Totem poles may recount familiar legends, clan lineages, or notable events."


I humbly submit that there is a totem pole in every families kitchen. It looks something like this :

That's right , your fridge. The humble refrigerator. 

First commercially available in 1915 and well established  by 1930 with almost 60% of American households having one to replace their old  "icebox". I'm here to tell you that your fridge is no longer just for housing leftovers of indeterminable age.

If your family is anything like ours each week we have around 20 events for that week that need to be accounted for and planned logistically. This doesn't include school and work ! (They just happen.)

And as most of you  know my wife is a organisational genius, so each Sunday there is a quick planning session where all information added to the desk planner (month at a glance) during the week by family members is added to the master plan for that week which is then posted on the fridge. Shopping lists and chores have their own permanent spot .

And it's not just "what's on" that's posted on its shiny metal surface, art,  achievements and even photos are put up and we always celebrate the wins and the milestones. 

So I say to you that, without realising it all of us have created our own totem pole and continue the practice of passing on important events and notifications.

With all the different activities in diferent places, meal creation becomes a challenge as there is usually precious little time to make them. Planning the meals for the week has helped immensely, ( both from a budget and nutritional perspective) I can tell you Jamie Oliver's 30 minute meals is a life saver, good food, prepared inside 30 minutes allows us to continue our dinner time. Other helpful sites are Donna Hay, and the good old Women's Weekly. 

Again the totem pole is used to publish what will be available and what the people getting home first will have to do to get it to the table.

So post up your own totem pole and lets celebrate families and communication !