Dads and supermarket shopping

On the weekends in Coles, Aldi and Wooloworths around this great nation of ours you will often see Dads who would normally not go shopping with their child/ren in tow. I would hazard a guess that the normally patient mother / spouse has given the remaining members of the house a list and sent them packing, in order to get some much needed peace and quiet. So off to the supermarket they traipse, going though the pain of dealing with supermarket car parks and loading / unloading kids.

image courtesy of goodmenproject.com

So how have I reached this grandiose broad sweeping statement ?

Well they are pretty easy to spot. They have a couple of "tells" that give them away.

So here's a quick field guide to the species:

1) Identification - They are carrying a basket not a trolley, clutching a list like it's the 10 commandments and looking around nervously. To assume that anything else besides some bread, milk and a couple of other small items will fit in the basket is where the problems start. Trolleys are a trap and a blessing - it's good they hold so much but this results in you / others being able to add things and not really notice.

2) Environment - They will look pretty lost in the aisles. Not being a regular in the supermarket means they will often wander up and down several aisles looking for one thing before proceeding to the next item on their list. In trying to look like you know what you are doing, the exact opposite is usually conveyed.

3) Behavior Patterns - They will keep checking what the kids are doing or actually looking for the child/ren. When they find the actual listed item they are looking for they will spend an inordinate amount of time trying to decide which brand or price point they are supposed to choose. Then will often display confusion as the child/ren may offer suggestions like " that's not the one Mommy buys ! "

4) Checkout - At this point they are feeling a cross between stressed and relief that the end is in sight. A few more looks at the list to re-assure themselves that all is well. They will often miss the chocolate / treat free aisle that assist with the inevitable " daddy can we have.....". That always takes a few minutes to resolve.

image courtesy of parentsask.com

And then off they toddle with bags and kids in tow to the car park and out into the bright daylight that signals freedom.

As a regular supermarket shopper I feel for them. I remember the first time I was allowed to go by myself. I think I came home with $200.00 of "stuff " and most it was not on the list I had been supplied with. Over time I was trained in the art of shopping for a) the budget and b) what we would actually consume.

I really feel fore these guys. I can assure you that no where in "What to expect when you are expecting " or any book in that series does it explain or even hint at this kind of stuff.

And when I see them struggling, I just  want to take them gently by the hand and show them that the Pecans are in aisle 5.

So I never laugh and never sneer in derision when they don't know.

I just remind my self to drag out the minions and show them how to shop to live well.

Intention

" The road to hell is paved with good intentions." 

It's a popular variation of the original saying thought to have originated from St Bernard of Clairvaux who said "L'enfer est plein de bonnes volontés et désirs" (hell is full of good wishes and desires)


Intention can be best described as the specific action or actions that a goal or outcome is aimed at. For those that follow along and are also fans of Freakonomics you will also know about unintended consequences. 
That is - the outcomes that were unexpected or unforeseen.


It would be fair to say I'm the master of those !

I often compare intention to New Years resolutions, you start at the absolute hard line and then quietly adjust it as time and reality creeps in. So for example, when I was younger I would make lists of all the resolutions I had to achieve in that year. Come the end of the year and a variation of the original had been achieved (sort of). So I began to learn that you had to be careful with the original plan.

In our house it goes a little like this :

It was our intention that the new dog would sleep outside at night. The reality was after 90 seconds of howling at the door, The Beloved relocated up stairs for the night with the minions and left me to deal with the noise. The next day a re-design of the "sleep outside" plan was developed. So we will be installing a dog door, which I have to organise.

It was our intention the at the dog would not be allowed on the bed. The second morning he was home he whined quietly and The Organised one picked him up and he was on. Now he knows that if a sleep in is trying to be had he will get some time on the bed by making noise.

Which is what he does now

Image courtesy of jinglegraphicdesign.blogspot.com

Every morning.

It was our intention that we would save money by shopping at the market. With two growing boys the bills were climbing up and the plan was to continue the healthy eating but at a reduced cost. The problem is that there are 2 supermarkets within 300 metres of the house. And you know I hate driving, parking and the rest of the rigmarole. Even with two grandma trolleys it still over flows both and we haven't been to the market yet.

It was my intention that I would teach the boys about bicycle maintenance by rebuilding a bike we found abandoned on the side of the road. I now have 3 incomplete bikes in the shed in various parts and stages.

None of them work.

Image courtesy of  bikedump.com

It was my intention that I would get the beloved a Valentines day gift ( with thought in it and prior preparation) yet there I was - Feb 14th at 3pm scouring around for gifts trying to find something.

So you can see that in our family good intention is discussed , put in to practice even, but  along the way .....

I put it down to life getting in to the way. I try to be a realist, I want for the best to happen but I know that I'll probably end up with some of what I wanted and some compromise chucked in for good measure.

And in the end I think that's what matters. That at least some part of the plan getting achieved and the benefit for me this teaches the boys that you have to be flexible and adaptive - Right ?

Admit it dearest , you love {TV show I don't want to watch}

I got caught laughing whilst not watching Offspring* and it reminded me of how often when I sit down to not watch a television show that I don't want to watch, I wind up; well kind of enjoying it.


On a weekend the TV will be going in the background whilst the family catches up on the stuff that didn't get done during the week and the kids will often have Scooby Doo or some other cartoon on. 


And before I know it we are having a discussion about the show along the lines of :


"how come Fred doesn't notice how Daphne feels about him "

and 


"why doesn't Shaggy just tell Scooby Doo about Velma and him ?

It's not that I dislike Scooby Doo , I just don't deliberately set aside time to watch it, yet when it's on I stop and watch and chuckle at every "and I would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for you meddling kids"


The same goes for all the RomComs that are on such as Winners and Losers and the rest of them. I grumble and groan about the mere suggestion of them being watched , because I want to watch something else (even though I don't know what that is.) But once they're on I find myself watching. 


As a keen amateur psychologist, I have decided I do this because I am comparing my life with these peoples lives and ensuring mine is perfect compared to theirs.

Case closed.






*For all my overseas readers = Offspring is a TV serial about an female obstetrician who has completely dysfunctional relationships with men and a family who rely on her completely to fix all their problems and communicate with each other. 


Its just like me except she has a brother and I don't.