People take Football very seriously

I watch the cameras being tested and focused, the camera men making sure all the angles can be covered and nothing missed.
I watch the coaches and assistant coaches with magnetic boards in deep discussion with football managers and other support staff on final player positions.
I watch intently as the players complete there drills and warm ups and move into their final huddle before the game.

These are all the things that we love about AFL football. That pre-game excitement.

Then - the bell goes and the ball is bounced.

What ? What do you mean it's a siren and not a bell ?

You know I'm talking about under 9's footy right ?

image courtesy of blog.smilebebe.com

Confused ?

And all of those things described above actually happened. Not from our team of course.

Picture this, there's a coffee gently warning my right hand and my jacket is clutched firmly in my left as I look out over the field. It's Sunday morning and time for footy. The Youngest and his team are peppering the goals with footballs and the parents are chatting away on the sidelines.

Yet the opposition team seem to have an entire support team to rival any AFL teams, busily preparing for the match.

But I digress. Watching these kids play is great because -

a) They're outside and in running around in what Melbourne mostly passes as fresh air.
b) They're playing a team sport which is forcing them to work together to get an outcome.

I can not ask for any more. Well I can, I need decent coffee. But as Grandpa on the Go always said - "if you want it done right then you're probably going to have to do it yourself. So I now make my own coffee in a travel  sippee cup.

The Youngest has been put in the mid field which seems to mean anywhere on the ground the ball is. It also seems to mean go where ever all the wettest and stickiest mud is and tackle people there.
He does well, except for a couple of moments where he skips around a bit looking like he is having way to much fun.

image courtesy of jeffdowsing.wordpress.com

I'd say the opposition will have to edit that bit out of their very serious post match review, before the other kids find out.

Anyway despite being a few men short and facing a difficult slope in the ground away from the goals they notch up a win.

They march off the ground arms around each other singing the club song at the same decibel level of air-planes taking off, smiles wider than the grand canyon.

There is a post match game discussion which seems to be more about giving out chocolates and footy cards than the serious business of post match dissection. But everyone gets praised and all achievements are duly noted - including The Youngest attempting to ride the full back like a donkey head first in to the ground.

We wrap him up in a towel and off we go home.

And next Sunday I'll do it all again, because after all this is bloody serious you know.........

Use it or lose it

I first  heard this statement when I was very young. It seemed such a "throwaway" line that could apply to almost anything.

Did it mean that if I didn't play with every one of my toys my parents would throw them out ?

Did it mean that things that sat in the corner of the house never being used would disappear ?
The whole thing just didn't make sense.

When I was in my teens , it seemed to be more a saying just for old people who sat around all day or office workers who sat behind their shiny Commodore 64's, after all  I was an over active teenager doing everything.

When I was in my twenties I was fine with it as I was still relatively active. My social life was taking off, so I was still doing all sorts of stuff. In fact I barely even thought about it.

When I was in my thirties I thought I was doing fine. But the when I look back at the photos - I was a big guy. Too much of a good time was being had.

And certainly very little activity was going on.

The Beloved and I got married and along came the kids and I started to get active again. After all try being sedentary with two boys and see how that goes.

So I've always tried to get some activity in to what ever were doing even down to simply trying to ride or walk to work.  We even try to ensure holidays encompass some physical activity. But when its 3 degrees outside and raining, the urge is somewhat lessened.

And how many of us have set out the training gear the night before and mentally decided what we're going to do, gone to bed only to wake up in the morning and have no difficulty saying  to ourselves - tomorrow.

So when I discovered this article This is the full study I was impressed. Somebody had actually taken the time to look at the old adage and see if it was true. A simplified version can be found here This is the Explain it like I'm Five version and it fuelled me on to continue being active.

Which leads me to why I am at the start line of what is arguably one of the more difficult things to do on a Sunday - a Triathlon.

The start line is at St Kilda beach and I have to really try not to worry about swallowing any water as it will probably kill me with all the crap that's apparently in it.

image courtesy of jenius.com.au

I'm wearing a fluoro orange bathing cap and seem to be the only person not wearing a wetsuit. There's a lovely southerly blowing ensuring I'm not only the coldest person there but also the whitest.

I'm sucking my stomach in and hoping that the others around me with chiseled abs are doing the same thing.

The waves on the water look little but the groups already in the water ahead of me look a bunch of black socks in a washing machine.

An hour and a bit later I'm done.

And I mean done.

Individually each activity is fine, but when you put them all together in one event the whole dynamic changes.

I did learn a couple of things along the way such as :

- You can't eat a muesli bar whilst riding a bike at 35 kph. Which is probably why they make everything for athletes in that disgusting, easy to consume "gel". Oh and by the way its not gel - its more like really thick snot.
- Always organise someone to pick you up from your event. It's very, very difficult to ride home afterwards.

So as I lay out my bike gear for the next days exercise, I wonder what the early morning discussion in my brain will sound like.......

Go
or
Not going..........

Matching Kids to sports

When I was a little kid I watched my sister learn to swim. I decided I could do that and away we both went. Turns out we were both pretty good at it and we joined a club and I ended up "retired' at about 19 years of age and went in to the work force never to  look back. The decision wasn't too difficult, when I was swimming there wasn't a lot any of money in it, so once I discovered you could work and get paid - I was off.

I'm a fairly chatty bloke so swimming may not have been a great choice for me, as you spend 2 hours a day twice a day, 6 days a week with most of your face and body under water and this does not lend itself to chatting. So I would have to start the conversation at each end when everybody was assembled and then carry it on though the session at each rest period. Which is no mean feat as you have to remember where you are in the conversation and the session you are supposed to be focused on.

Image courtesy of dailymail.co.uk

Actually now that I think about it if I had focused as much on the training as I did the chatting, I probably would have gone even faster and got yelled at a lot less by the coach.

So this leads me to my point ( bear with me I'll get there)

I now have two bundles of joy of my own and they are starting to reach the age where they are getting serious about sport. I want them to enjoy the experience and I certainly want them to get a sense of being part of a  team ( you don't get that in swimming ) and the responsibility that brings.

So here I am looking at each minion and trying to match them with a sport (which will also be parent friendly) and that ticks all the boxes above.

Ands it's hard not to want / expect that every time they run on to the arena that they will be the next big super star and be whisked way to a life of luxury and security (with me as their manager).

So lets have a look at the mainstream sports on offer now days for boys -

Aussie Rules Football - Not a sport for the faint hearted parent. If seeing little Bobby get his head driven into the ground and him return covered in mud and grass stains gives you shivers then try something else. Even with the extra rules to protect the little ones, it's still injury prone. Mind you nothing is quite as funny as watching little kids running up and down those huge grounds chasing an oval shaped ball that just won't bounce the way they want it to. It's kinda like herding cats.

Basketball - This gets a big tick from me, 2 halves of 18 minutes, it's indoors. Will not suit children who don't like running. Basketball is a very intense sport and I actually really enjoy watching it. The boys seem to get satisfaction from everybody on the team getting the chance to get scores on the board. I will however issue a caution, if your beloved lacks spatial awareness, carry a lot of tissues for the inevitable blood noses.

Soccer - Less heads being driven in to the ground than football.  Still plenty of grass stains and mud to keep the kids smiling and the washing machines on over drive. Does require attendance when raining so can be a little trying.

Cricket - This involves sitting around waiting, then you get to stand around waiting. As parents you sit around waiting on the sidelines. I'd pack a lot of snacks and wine coffee. Great for kids who never get bored and don't mind nothing exciting happening. Ever.

I know there's heaps more but only so much space.

So it sounds simple I hear you say, we pick a sport and show up ? As Admiral Akbar always says - "It's a trap !"

Image courtesy of knowyourmeme.com

After you have paid your not un-substantial joining fee and uniform fee, each week you will be given a task to assist with on game day. The task could be something simple like cutting up the oranges or buying the snakes for the end of the game. It could however be umpiring or even worse - scoring.

Woe behold if you get scoring and you make a mistake. Before you will get a chance to correct it hordes of parents will point out your error and hopefully for you its not a close game or it can get really awkward. Some of these parents take U9 sports very, very seriously.

So as Saturday rolls around and we fire up the family Taxi to get everybody to the various events, I thank my lucky stars that neither of them are interested in synchronized swimming.....

The not so secret Parenting plan (or divide and prosper)

If your kids are anything like mine, they can go for days or minutes with out fighting and play like long lost friends rediscovering why they were friends in the first place.

But when they don't it can be brutal (I have two boys) and difficult to determine what or whom caused it.

Its a little like Cabin Fever, just getting on each others nerves.

The last thing I want to do try and work out who to punish so I end up just punishing them both for being involved but that leads to an unhappy house.

As parents this can be exasperating, right ? After all its not like they handed us a "How to be a Parent " manual straight after the kids were born (I doubt I would have read it anyway) with all the answers to raising the perfect son/daughter.

Image courtesy of acupofteaftmyselfandme.blogspot.com

So we hatched what at the time we thought was a perfect secret little plan.

So we do what we call "Divide and Conquer", I'll take one combatant boy and the Talented One will take the other and we will do things that each of them they enjoy. Call me old fashioned if you will but nothing works better than complete and un-distracted focus, even if  it's only from one parent.


Now this isn't as easy as it sounds. We are a one car family and intend on staying that way for sometime. It forces us to do things together and ensure that we all participate in each others activities. I'm hoping that the boys are learning empathy and tolerance from this little exercise. It's like learning to enjoy visiting your mother in law but when your 10 and not allowed to drink beer in the car on the way there.

So the weekend can go a little something like this:

Get up and prepare a break fast feast to power up for the day.

Clean up from this feast ( as I've used every pan and there is bacon fat on the wall)

Saturday basketball 

Come home and cook another weekend feast for dinner

Sunday get up and try to recreate prior days breakfast feast (using less pans than the day before and putting the bacon in the oven)

First Choir run for The Eldest

Lunch (by this meal SWMBO has us on salad sandwiches)

Second Choir run for Eldest which encompasses "The Sunday walk"

 to drop the Eldest at choir and then walk back the

 long way home to talk to the little guy one on one.

Not that I get a word in - with all the questions he has.

I'm pretty sure has saved up every question he had during the week and needs them all answered whilst we walk. I think he does this because he doesn't want his brother to know he has so many questions. I really see the difference in my sons when I deal with them on their own. I suppose they feel a little more comfortable with the one on one time as there is no risk of being judged when your other competitor sibling isn't present.

During the week the early morning 0800 start for the Eldest's choir is when we walk though the leafy suburbs of Melbourne just chatting one on one. Sometimes we pick a topic of discussion and then talk it through over the 30 minute walk. Sometimes we just talk about Minecraft the whole way. We never stay on topic for long and it's been a real eye opener for me.

As well as these weekly activities there are weekends planned where depending on schedules special one off excursions are planned.

For us it's all about that fine balance between together time and one on one time. The funny thing is no-one can tell us whether it's right or wrong because the final conclusion will only be known many, many years from now.

So that's our solution. Simple and so far completely effective. I'm not sure how secret it is though.

I got it, No, Wait I got it, No , Wait I got it , No , No I Don't.....

and the Benny Hill version

sniggers