Motivating almost a teenager.....

It's a bight sunny day and I look out at the yard knowing it needs a clean and and a tidy to bring it back to its inner city shoe box sized courtyard best. I grab the broom and begin sweeping, but as usual my mind wanders to other things we could be doing. I look back through the window to the boys buried deep in computers and iPods.

What I really want them to have is the motivation to get them off the couch and from behind their technology.

It seems like only yesterday that I look down at his little hand tugging at mine and his pleading cries :

"Come on Dad lets go to the park !"

"Come on Dad lets chase those bloody fat pigeons out of the yard !"

image courtesy of slate.com

Now they hide from me.  In the couch or around the house because they know I want to go out. Having pre-teenagers certainly is different from toddlers. Gone is the enthusiasm for exploring the world. Gone is insatiable appetite for destruction.

I mean who hasnt' gone into another room to do something and come back to find a kitchen cupboard completely unpacked on  to the floor by an ever smiling toddler.

I really want to keep going out and do things together.

Problem is I probably make them feel awkward, kids nowadays don't really want to be seem with their parents I guess.

And it was different when I was kid, both my parents worked full time so we were forced to do somethings by ourselves. But thanks to  random unrelated "bad things" that happened to children, the media made us terrified of letting the kids do the same stuff we did. By the time the beloved was 13 she was catching a train from Mt Waverley to Hawthorn each day by herself.

Now days you would probably get reported for letting that happen. But I'm telling you we have to get them used to doing things for themselves.

I keep banging on about we have to get the kids to make decisions every day so they don't get to their first party - get offered drugs and not know how to give the correct response with out losing face in front of their peers.

*steps off soap box*

Anyway if I can get them convinced to come out side with me, it always goes well. Once they get out and start the activity you can't wipe the smile off their faces. I still remember begging, cajoling , pleading to go for a ride with the Eldest. Finally we head off and bugger me if after not more than 30 secs of riding he is whistling and smiling like he's just discovered the greatest thing ever.

After 10 minutes he proclaims " Wow I have no idea why I didn't want to come for a ride I'm having such a great time"

I almost fell off my bike.

So I finish sweeping and firmly step inside to get everyone ready for some time in the park. The living room is deserted. It seems they can read my mind........

Use it or lose it

I first  heard this statement when I was very young. It seemed such a "throwaway" line that could apply to almost anything.

Did it mean that if I didn't play with every one of my toys my parents would throw them out ?

Did it mean that things that sat in the corner of the house never being used would disappear ?
The whole thing just didn't make sense.

When I was in my teens , it seemed to be more a saying just for old people who sat around all day or office workers who sat behind their shiny Commodore 64's, after all  I was an over active teenager doing everything.

When I was in my twenties I was fine with it as I was still relatively active. My social life was taking off, so I was still doing all sorts of stuff. In fact I barely even thought about it.

When I was in my thirties I thought I was doing fine. But the when I look back at the photos - I was a big guy. Too much of a good time was being had.

And certainly very little activity was going on.

The Beloved and I got married and along came the kids and I started to get active again. After all try being sedentary with two boys and see how that goes.

So I've always tried to get some activity in to what ever were doing even down to simply trying to ride or walk to work.  We even try to ensure holidays encompass some physical activity. But when its 3 degrees outside and raining, the urge is somewhat lessened.

And how many of us have set out the training gear the night before and mentally decided what we're going to do, gone to bed only to wake up in the morning and have no difficulty saying  to ourselves - tomorrow.

So when I discovered this article This is the full study I was impressed. Somebody had actually taken the time to look at the old adage and see if it was true. A simplified version can be found here This is the Explain it like I'm Five version and it fuelled me on to continue being active.

Which leads me to why I am at the start line of what is arguably one of the more difficult things to do on a Sunday - a Triathlon.

The start line is at St Kilda beach and I have to really try not to worry about swallowing any water as it will probably kill me with all the crap that's apparently in it.

image courtesy of jenius.com.au

I'm wearing a fluoro orange bathing cap and seem to be the only person not wearing a wetsuit. There's a lovely southerly blowing ensuring I'm not only the coldest person there but also the whitest.

I'm sucking my stomach in and hoping that the others around me with chiseled abs are doing the same thing.

The waves on the water look little but the groups already in the water ahead of me look a bunch of black socks in a washing machine.

An hour and a bit later I'm done.

And I mean done.

Individually each activity is fine, but when you put them all together in one event the whole dynamic changes.

I did learn a couple of things along the way such as :

- You can't eat a muesli bar whilst riding a bike at 35 kph. Which is probably why they make everything for athletes in that disgusting, easy to consume "gel". Oh and by the way its not gel - its more like really thick snot.
- Always organise someone to pick you up from your event. It's very, very difficult to ride home afterwards.

So as I lay out my bike gear for the next days exercise, I wonder what the early morning discussion in my brain will sound like.......

Go
or
Not going..........

The Ride home ( a tale of perception )

I think he picked up my slipstream as I came through Birrarung Mar , I heard the clank of his gear and his shadow was almost completely on top of mine but just enough of a line for me to notice. I'm on my mountain bike so I'm just not going to be fast enough for him to stay there for long.

I get quite frustrated with the riders who sit right in line with your rear wheel and draft off the slipstream your body creates. This because there's no need to ride so close (not to mention it's lazy riding, they're using the slipstream to get the same speed but for less effort)

Image courtesy of inhabitat.com

Under the bridge and up on tho the pathways opposite Olympic Park, I keep the pace steady,  as to shake him off I'll have to work twice as hard. Past AAMI stadium and the shadow is gone but the click and every now and then the echo's off the various things we pass - trees, fences, signs, is still there.

Down the hill we go toward Burnley wharf. Sitting steadily on 29kph

As I come off the floating pathways and up the ramps toward the halfway mark it's the Big Hill time. The pathway dips down hard and then climbs sharply, corners hard and then begins a long descent to almost the level of the river  (it floods after a heavy rain) and instantly climbs up to the freeway level again. All the way down I here the click of his ratchet as he stops pedaling and allows the hill to do the work. Momentum carrying us up to 41kph and then slowing us almost instantly to 20 then 19kph.

At this point I decide to try and shake him by leaving the path and going on to the road than runs next to this portion of the pathway. It's shielded by the 15 foot sound barriers that stop the freeway hum from offending the people who live across the Yarra on the waters edge.

I still can't see him properly but the sounds are clear - the click of the ratchets and the occasional squeak of the pedals. Up into 6th and the speedo reads 30kph

Along the road we sweep, the sweat is now tickling my eyebrows and I'm breathing hard.

Second last rise in the road and I watch carefully for the cross traffic, the cars don't look - they expect you to. I slow slightly as the incline steepens and I change down to 5th, I can't hear him but I can feel him tucked in behind riding the slipstream and doing 20% less work than me.

I've hit the last  straight now and I click up a gear again to 6th and the speedo reads 32kph. I can feel each part of the muscle in my legs and the sweat now resembles tears running down my face.

Last rise past the girls school, I often see them in the morning loading boats into the river and wishing they were somewhere else. But not now, the heat rises from the road and they are nowhere to be seen.

I can hear the click of the ratchet in the rear wheel again as we pass the walls of the school and the squeak of his bike chain. Its unwavering and now slightly to my right.

200 meters to go.

I reach the turn on to Bridge rd and stop to one side as I've won. He didn't pass me and I turn around jubilantly to claim my victory.

As I look back along the roads straight line , it shimmers under the suns glare and it looks like it's coated in a film of water but I know it's not.

Image courtesy epod.usra.edu

There's nothing behind me.

There's no-one behind me.

I check again wiping the sweat from my eyes. My heart pounding.

Nothing.

I've been chasing myself. The click of the ratchet, mine amplified as I ride past sold objects. The squeaky chain the one part of my chain with some slight rusting.

I turn slowly onto Bridge rd and chuckle to myself. You have to be careful what you think are competing for.

Keeping up with the kids (a cautionary tale)

As the road rises to meet me, I am reminded of two irrefutable laws of this planet.

1) Gravity

2) You can't teach an old dog new tricks

So how did I end up here. Was it vanity  ?

No.

Was it stupidity ?

 No comment.

Image courtesy of berkeleymediatraining.co.uk

As I watch my sons grow into men, I have to remind my self that some of the things they will do / learn , they will have to do by themselves.

It is a natural instinct to try to simply tell them  " Hey don't do that because..."
We are parents first and people second. So I constantly have to try not to get in the way of learning. No matter how tempting it is.

But who will tell me ? Who will say "that's probably not a good idea ?"

Anyway back to the story. So here I am on a pavement in Melbourne, a brand new pair of jeans shredded. Blood trickling down my leg and my dignity no where to be seen.

All because I tried to keep up with the boys.

By trying to ride a scooter.

You know the type, the ones with little skateboard wheels and a thin platform to stand on.  The scooters were bought on line ( like a dad gift, that we all use) sort of like so we could get around to places faster and have some fun. I had just finished a delivering Older Son to choir practice and was returning home.

It had all gone well until now.

As I limped home the only real thought I'm entertaining is "how do I hide this from She who Knows best"

That's not going to be easy, the new jeans were a joint purchase on a recent trip to Sydney. The scab that was forming on my leg is sizable. Both will be hard to hide.

Once I have cleaned up I realize that I am 41 years old. I am not as nimble as I thought. I should not try am not going to be able to do all the things that the boys can do.  I ride and run regularly and try as best I can to keep in good health and I do this to keep up with my boys.

I do this because every day I see parents who just can't keep up with their kids and that makes me sad and spurs me on to not fall into this trap.

I love the fact that we run together. I love the fact that we play footy together and I will keep on trying to do all these things  until I draw my last breath (or my hip disintegrates into dust)

But it has become plainly and painfully obvious that there are now somethings I would like to do or think that I can do, that I will just have to pass on.


So I stuffed the jeans into the cupboard and put the bloodied tissues in the bin. I looked into the mirror and I said out loud " Well at least you didn't land on your face "

The next day it looked like this.

Cycling and Physics (Science inside ! )

Ever wanted to punish cars that park in the bike lane ? This guy does it !

I guess he really like to make sure no one is in his bike lanes.

Why my sister and I have mutual respect

  I was waiting in line the other day and couldn't help but overhear (she was talking very loudly) a lady talking about her sister, about how she was such a pain and never did anything for anybody and so forth and so on.

I immediately remembered that I hadn't rung my sister for some time. I had emailed her ( to tell her about the blog) and we get updates from Facebook, but I hadn't rung.

That aside I also remembered why I had a great relationship with my sister = Mutual respect.

This didn't occur right from the start. No way. This had to be earned because we, like large numbers of young siblings, were at odds with each other to begin with. I would play jokes on her constantly and she would niggle me and we would find new ways to annoy each other and around and around it went.

It got to the point that other people would say to us when we were out with my parents, " Are you two being nice to each other yet?"

Anyway,  mutual respect was finally reached after "The Piano lesson" incident. It went down something like this........

Image courtesy of  garybabb.net

Grandma on the Go was a night Charge Sister for intensive care at the hospital and slept during the day, so we had to come home from school ourselves and on Wednesdays go to our piano lessons around the corner. We were allowed to ride our bikes there and back on the footpath.

SO, after my lesson I thought it would be funny if I let my sisters bike tyre down a little while she was having her lesson and she would have to walk home.

I let a little air out and checked, "nah not enough",  let a lot more out , "whoa OK that's pretty flat".

Off I rode.

When she finally did arrive home and found out that it was I who caused the walk home and worse, continued to laugh at her about it, a dark rage came over her.

She picked up a screwdriver that I had been using on my bike and threw it in a frustrated swoop. As she flung the screwdriver at me I tried to dodge it only to have the bladed end hit me fair square in the fleshy part of my elbow.

And the blood began to flow. As we apologized to each other over and over again, we still  had to decide what we were going to do :

1) Wake up Grandma on the Go and risk the wrath consequences of a sleep deprived mother
2) Cover up the crime and deny the blood was our doing/fault

So number 2 it was then . We hid my jeans in the clothes basket to be washed and we agreed that it was finished. To this day I'm pretty sure only the two of us know what happened.

As I look back on this now I realised that it wasn't the fact that I got hurt that changed the dynamic between us , it was the simple realisation that we only had each other and that was it. It obviously is not something that everyone gets or has because I constantly hear about peoples poor relationships with their siblings. So I count myself lucky.

Now if you'll excuse me I have to go make a phone call.

The Bike lane

One cyclists ode to why sometimes the bike lane isn't the best place to be.