Well, at least they didn't take that.....

One of the things they don't teach you in school or anywhere for that fact is - about being robbed.

And of course they don't because they assume the best about the world - just like parents who play pass the parcel and ensure everyone gets a prize.
But the reality is that for some of us, it will happen. And for some of us it will happen more than once.

I'm talking here about your house - not your kids under 12 football teams issues with bad umpiring by the way.

No one explains to you that sinking feeling in your stomach when you get home ( or worse wake up in the morning) and realize that - someone you don't know and didn't invite in - has been into your house and not only gone through your stuff but taken things that are yours.

On a side note I've often wondered that if they don't take stuff that you think is  valuable - does that mean it's crap ? I mean apart for photos and the like it's a bit of a blow to the ego if you think about it.

I've had the displeasure of being robbed many times, as I live in a suburb that is a bit of a magnet for people who need money for things that enrich their life ( so their brains are telling them anyway) and have no way to fund this, other than removing your stuff and exchanging it for cash at a significantly lower exchange rate than when you first purchased it.

Nowadays with improved security and an increase in the median house value, that propensity has decreased some what. But it doesn't mean they aren't still trying to get to my priceless odd sock collection.

And after the 3rd time it happens you kinda just fall into a routine - calling the police, the insurance company, the banks etc, but once you have kids it becomes very different. They don't have any experience to fall back on for this new problem.

This experience is new and terrifying. They figured you would keep them safe. They figured you would shield them from the evils of the world. ( they know it exists, just not in their area )

So all of a sudden just like I did when it happened to my parents, they realise they have to go through this.

The last time it happened to us it was a mini home invasion, they picked the  front door lock grabbed all the purses and wallets neatly laid out on the sideboard ( see where being organised gets you ! ) with the car keys and my sports gear and none of us (including Captain Incontinence ) were any the wiser.

I still fail to see the point of a guard dog that can not do exactly that, but anyway. We still live in hope that all the running around the back yard barking at the pigeons in the trees is basic training and will one day transform into preemptive 24hr protection.

If you think that some days your dealings with bureaucracy is difficult - try proving who you are to someone in the government without a single piece of identification. So it went like this - to get a temporary license you need photo ID, but the only photo ID I had was my license I explained to the brick wall.

The funniest part of the whole thing really came when the beloved came to pick me up from a triathlon in the hire car that resembled a pregnant roller-skate.
I basically had to disassemble my bike, fold all the seats flat, shove all the gear in around that and then make the kids walk home.

And then after they declared our much loved 4WD a write off due to " Bio Hazards present in vehicle " it's off we go to find a new vehicle to transport the ridiculous amount of things we seem to need to take when we go anywhere. Buying a car is a whole different matter and more than enough for a separate post.

We went through the whole unpleasant and came out the other side - hopefully - an awful lot wiser.

And I think the boys now understand that sometimes you might get none of your things back and sometimes you get back someone else's size 12 bikini.

At least they didn't take my odd socks, so the search for their lost mates continues........

I just can't do jail - I'm way too soft

It's decided then.

Jail is just not a place that I can be.

The police are not polite, the guards don't like you, everybody shouts at you all the time and the food is an absolute disaster. Jail is just not a place that a polite middle aged man like me will ever survive.

As I did last year, again this year I have participated in the White Lion Bailout,  to raise much needed funds for disadvantaged youth in trouble and help support the programs that assist them in getting their lives back on track.

As a father of two young men on the way I am keen to help other youngsters find their way in the world without the problems and distractions that come at us  from all directions

Anyway once we had raised the requisite funds through a series of sausage sizzles, lolly sales and raffles we were ready to go.
That's the difference with this event - In order to participate you have to raise the required bail for each team member.

And I have to tell you in this day and age raising funds for charities has become guerrilla warfare. You need to be doing something different to attract donations not only for your charity, but even for your event to raise funds for your charity.
Everyone seems to have " wallet fatigue " for the huge number of charities trying to continue on with the work they do. It's sad that you can't help them all, but you simply have to decide what you are going to do and support and stick to it.

So after being processed (finger printed and photographed) it was off to the holding cells. As you can see they didn't seem to search us too well.

The toilets are not appealing at all, so you just hold on.

After all our time in the slammer we had our day in court.

I know its all light hearted and that they are creating an experience for us to remind us that these are kids in real trouble, but at some of the stations the message is particularly difficult.

When they began to show us how drugs are created and where they are hidden it was very clear that I will never be able to be a drug user.

The hardest stop is the padded cell in which they recreate a troubled girls life who didn't show up to her court appearance - because she is dead. The question left with us is - Who let her down ? The answer just isn't clear and raises many more questions in my mind.

So armed with the little bit of insight on how easy is is for kids to stray on to the wrong path and knowing that the things I do will contribute to how they make those decisions. I will be back next year to continue to help in any way I can whilst I try to raise two boys into two men  - who, like me are completely un-suited to jail.