Getting the kids to eat new things....

There is a plethora of studies around the introduction of food and food types in the first two years of a child's life on earth. Most of them to point to the direction that is - that the kid will pretty much put anything in their mouth *  - so why not get them to try all sorts of food and get used to it ?

And with out putting too fine a point on it we have extended family members who have very, very narrow food tolerance ranges. So we are painfully aware of the outcome of not being at least a little adventurous.

We have always had a mantra in the house " It's not a restaurant fella, that's what 's for dinner". Which really serves two functions. The first is -  we don't have time for everybody to have a separate meal prepared and secondly -  try different things it's good for you.

And when I look back at my food experience's as a child it would certainly indicate a predilection for eating well.

I'm blessed to be married to a very good cook and I've been told that I'm not too shabby myself. So it's fair to say a dish like this is common place.

Prosciutto wrapped white fish with lemon mayonnaise and asparagus

And all catering for parties is done by The Beloved with us constantly in her way ably assisting  including such jobs as
- Hand deep frying one by one Won ton wrappers, only to have the box they were in dropped and they all shatted
- Picking off the tiniest pieces of fennel and adding the to the the exact tip of a salmon mousse hors d'œuvres without denting the tip.

But it doesn't always go the way you want. The beloved once tried an eggplant dish on us, we all took the first mouthful and well, the look of horror said it all. But persistence beats resistance and we got more adventourous.

Any way our youngest grabbed this spirit of adventure and starting helping out with cooking. It's now at the stage where he and I cook over the weekend.

But not just anything.

Nope we get down the cookbooks and pick really stupidly difficult awesome stuff. Take this effort

Jamie's Hunter Lasagne

Here is the recipe and as you can see its a cracker.

The recipe is very thorough and we had to really get some substitution going on, as I just didn't find a hen pheasant nor did I find a pigeon that I was happy to touch let alone eat.

Also I pretty much used ever pot and pan we had over a 5 hour period. It was truly exhausting. Try Roasting four types of meat and then try separating them into what resembles a big bowl of hair even before making the sauce.

Any way all I'm saying is encouragement seems to breed learning. I'm just concerned about the level !

So as I watch him leaf through "Heston at Home" I just hope that it's a dish that doesn't require anything to be ordered from a science store or that requires a permit from customs.

*( I've seen a cousin eat a cockroch so it must be true)

The challenge of becoming a Husband

I was listening to a conversation about getting married the other day and it made me think of when I was trying desperately to become a husband.

There's no real way to dress it up - It was a long up hill battle. And lets face it, when have I ever made stuff I want to do, easy for myself.

I had met the Future Bride at a party of a friend. Due to the nature of the party we were left as the only two people standing (literally) and just kept on chatting. A few more dates pass and I had decided that this was the woman I wanted to marry (or at least spend as much time with as possible before someone else snagged her)

image courtesy of weddingcaketoppers.net.au

We started to get pretty serious, she would stop on the way home from work (night shifts) to see me and we would go to parties and out to dinners together when ever possible.

I once even slept in her car out the front of the house after a party, which was all going unnoticed until I got busted doing a pee on the nature strip.

So time moves by and there we were travelling nicely as a couple, until the Parents in law To Be went away and we decided to spend the week together at my place. The plan was simple, we would go back to her parents house each day or so to water the plants and feed the dog.

The dog gets fed, the plants get watered and I get uninterrupted access to the dream girl.

Easy. No one gets hurt.

The neighbor ratted us out.

Now here's where it gets tough for any potential suitor. Her mother was less than pleased and immediately I was labeled as trouble. To come back from here was going to be tough. The relationship with my mother-in-law to be was not good.

Oh who am I kidding, there was no relationship.

So here's Tip #1 - Build a good relationship with your proposed family in laws.

So as you can guess I did what any husband to be should do. I went to every family function and did what ever I could to be helpful. Dishes, serving food, helping, cooking food. You name it I did it. Because at this point I was on the bottom of the family ladder.

So now I'm working towards the engagement. We were going on a holiday and I had decided to surprise her with a useful travel item (pre Sept -11 days) a Swiss army knife. Somehow I manged to describe this "surprise"  that made it sound exactly like an engagement ring. She was beyond disappointed. I still haven't lived that one down.

So here's Tip #2 Do not try and surprise her with small gifts. Get really big ones until after the engagement. In fact no small gifts until after the wedding as all small gifts may will be misconstrued as diamonds.

image courtesy of tunningdiamonds.com.au

When it's time to ask her father for permission to marry his daughter, take your time and do not rush this meeting. It is full of traps.
Firstly choose the time and place carefully. Also if he points out an attractive woman - For goodness sake DON'T look.

When her father asks you how your job is going he not asking to be polite, Oh no he is ensuring you can look after his daughter and eventually his grand-kids so don't bore him with what a jerk the guy opposite is or how dumb your boss is. Keep it simple and to the point - You have a job and it pays.

If somehow you manage to make it past this point, don't think you are out of the woods just yet.

The proposal itself is for her just as critical as the wedding day. It has to able to be able to be recounted to all her friends and gain the ever sought after "he's soooo romantic, I wish my [insert term for other half here] was more like him !". The Wife To Be will expect you to get down on one knee as well.

And don't be put off by those stupid rom-coms where it all goes wrong and then is suddenly the most romantic thing on earth, that never happens. Just keep it in line with things she likes to do with you (not paintball or go-carting) and work from there.

Tip #3 Remember the proposal is like the diamonds you're going to eventually have to buy her  - Forever.

So think carefully and plan.

The biggest challenge I found was just be yourself. Your Wife To Be is going out with you because of you, nothing else ( unless you are a mining magnate and if you are - get a pre-nup). I got all caught up in trying to be perfect / make everything perfect and usually ended up just making it harder for myself.

And as I always remind people, you have to work at your marriage - it takes patience and persistence and most of all planning ! So you are going to have to work at becoming a husband as well.

So as I sit here typing away, looking back on 13 years of marriage I say to you - get on to it - its a cracker and you won't regret it.

Face it Dad, you are not a plumber....

I had an physical altercation with the dishwasher. I know it was wrong  but it was giving me the irits. For the 900th time it had just refused to start and was sounding an annoying alarm complete with a "not listed" in the manual error code.

So now not only did the dishwasher not work but it also now had a series of dint's across the front. These small fist and knee sized marks had caused much heated discussion and angst in the house, so it was decided that a new unit was required.

Being the handyman that I am I confidently declared that not only could I negotiate for the new dishwasher, but that I would save the $95 and install it sans plumber.

After all how hard could it be. I just take out the old unit and slide the new unit in after connecting the hose and the water outlets.  They're all the same after all

Right ?

So a new dishwasher was procured and brought home. (I am not paying $50 for delivery when I can do that myself as well)

An apprentice was selected ( Mr 11) and the cupboard under the sink was cleared so pipes and drain hoses could be disconnected and then the new hoses reconnected. I am constantly amazed at how many vases we own and they all seem to live under the sink ? What are they for ? I certainly don't buy flowers !

1st Problem - the hose could not be disconnected as the spanner was too small. So off to Bunnings we go and these were purchased :

(Now try and show me a tap I can't disconnect !)

So I took out the old unit and left it in the yard appropriately disposed of it and the apprentice and I carefully appraised the situation (opened a beer )

2nd Problem - The new dishwasher has a water  filter/pressure modulator on the end

 ( the big square thingy)

And it doesn't fit in the current hole from the previous dishwasher hose.

A drill and a larger hole is required. So a series of holes around a measured area were drilled and a hammer was employed. The apprentice gets into the cupobaord to ensure that perfection is acheived.

3rd Problem - There is two layers of chipboard where the hole needs to be. The hammer is'nt working, so many more holes are drilled and  the situation appraised ( a second beer is opened) Then more vigorous hammering in undertaken.

The hole is now sufficently large enough to fit.

4th Problem - The hose now fits so I clean the edges of the hole with my hand to ensure nothing impedes the hose or casues problems later on.The cabinet maker used pretty much every nail he had and I felt a sharp pain in my finger. No  time to worry we had work to do. But now blood is dripping on the floor and getting on everything. The hole in my finger was tiny but the blood just kept going.

So after a first aid stop, the situation was appraised ( yep another beer).

The taps are now connected and the drain-hose is fitted (two hose clamps and a heap of four letter words)

Now all to do is slide in the unit and test.

Clunk. The dishwasher hits the bench and stops. We re-angle and try again, Clunk and stop. This can't be happening how can it be too tall ? I measured the gap and compared this with the manual. We get the measuring tape and remeasure the hole and the dishwasher and they are indeed different.

Time and and a lot more cursing goes by.

The apprentice asks about the screw in feet. He is immediately hailed as a genius. The feet are lowered and in slides the unit. We have 10 minutes to get everything back to normal including putting away all those vases, before the lady of the house gets back.

The apprentice says "I can see you love doing this stuff Dad but you're no plumber"

So I have learned an important lesson - Never get into a fight with a dishwasher as they will have the last laugh.

Dad dating (a lesson for families)

When the kids make a new friend, the wives usually become friends because they are picking up / dropping off the kids to and from school and so by default get to spend more time to get to know each other. The kids spend all day to together and then you throw in a few play dates and everybody is comfortable with each other.

So that means all that's left is for the Dads to become friends.

Sounds simple right ?

Wrong.....

Like everything in the world all men (whilst being perfect ) are different and will have different interests (and sporting codes / teams etc )

Well duh , I hear you say. Shush - thank you, just hear me out.

Kids make friends pretty simply. Another kid would have to do something pretty drastic to have someone say " I don't like them "
Same with wives and significant others. They have the kids, the school etc, as things in common. They then build from there.

So what do we have ?

We have the expectation that we will just get along with the other Dad because, hey we're guys right?  We have simple needs right ?

Pfffffft.

Well imagine you are off to the said first meeting ( herein referred to as "Date")
There will be a mammoth amount of conversations and questions going through our minds prior to the date.

What if he drinks Corona ?

What happens if he pokes holes in the sausages whilst cooking them ?

What happens if he has the BBQ on too high and he burns the food ? 

     What happens if he doesn't like sports ( has happened )

Image courtesy photoeverywhere.co.uk

The stakes are high, you don't want to be the one that brings the whole thing undone by by some simple throwaway comment.

This means that the whole time you are trying to guess what to say (or not to say) and trying to learn as much as you can about the potential suitor by carefully drawing out the information whilst not being overtly suspicious or obvious.

I have been at first time dates and seen normally quite open and easy going Dads turn into human ostriches. They simply just didn't know where to go with the conversation and just completely withdrew in order to not wreck the date for everyone.

So to Dads embarking on the first date - Be prepared - ask your family about their new friends, background intel prior to the date is always usable as conversation starters when you have exhausted other channels.

And to families - I implore you to go easy on your Dad next time you want him to go to your new found friends house or catch up with them. There is a lot for your Dad to worry about and a lot of pressure on him to get it right.

After all it's pretty hard to replace us and start again - Right ?

Right ?