As a Dad you're probably going through something simliar

I often sit and wonder why I'm the only Dad with challenges in raising my kids. I understand there's going to be challenges, that's what makes being a parent so great. But why all the other stuff ?

After all, I was a perfect child who never gave my parents a lick of trouble ever, so why  do mine ? *

image coutesy of themomsbuzz.com

Simple things like getting them to clean their rooms through to complex things like putting more effort into school assignments seemed to be a never ending source of debate  and discussion and you start to wonder  - I am even doing this right ?

And after having another heated discussion with The Eldest son about levels of effort in his homework, I was feeling pretty down. Some days just seem like a never evening military campaign to illuminate the locals and set them on the path of economic freedom. Let us win your hearts and minds or we'll burn your damn huts down, sort of thing.

I wasn't the greatest student so I want to ensure my kids don't make the same mistakes I made and I'm keen to not let them suffer through some past misadventures that I should have definitely have been warned about.

Now the Beloved and I are a fearsome team. We are absolutely on the same side when it comes to the minions. But sometimes being a Dad is kinda like being a light house keeper - You know your job is important, but you never really know if you are doing it right because it's just you.

So what to do ? Who do I talk to ? It's been previously discussed on this blog about the difficulties faced when meeting / talking to other Dads. You certainly don't want to go around exposing your issues to all and sundry.

And I can't talk to Grandpa on the Go about it. The issues he faced with me were different. Or is it just me wanting that to be the case - it's all too hard, so don't worry just keep going .

image courtesy of belleamiemotherofthree.com

What an eye opener it was when I accidentally had lunch one day with another Dad and he confessed to me about having an argument with his son. It was exactly the same argument over exactly the same piece of homework with his son that I had had with mine. We ended up chatting for the entire lunch about these challenges and swapping war stories.

And with that small piece of revelation I started asking questions at every opportunity. Listening and realising that we were all going through the same thing.

Too much {insert video game name here} not enough homework.

Arguing over Internet usage.

Getting them to do chores around the house. It went on.

I  like to see myself as a pretty easy going guy and I try not to be an overbearing Dad. But you have to teach (boys especially) that their are boundaries and limits. And now that I know we can't solve every challenge / crisis but at least there are other Dads with some advice or at the very least a sympathetic ear, I'm back on track.

So now I attend the dinners with other Dads. I'm even thinking about setting some up. And I listen and ask questions every time.

So let me give you one task to do this week - Go find another Dad with similar aged kids to yours and talk to them and even more importantly - Listen.

Who knows you might just be surprised.

* May not be accurate statement

Why I can't be a spy

I really like spy movies.

I love the intrigue, the mystery of who is spying on who and the really big question - who are the good guys ? Spy movies tend to take us in to that perceived "underground " of our society. They show the threats we apparently never see and never hear about.

After all when you think about the agencies that ran the cold war during the 60's and 70's they were literally built on ensuring we were all afraid of something we couldn't see or had happened yet.

I would really love to be a spy, I mean look how glamorous it looks ! Cool gadgets, exotic locations, the positives around this obviously cool career are endless.

But when I sit down to analyse it , I have some, well, challenges........

#1- I can't drive - Spies seem to do a lot of driving. They drive to assignments, they get into lots of car chases and generally spend a lot of time in and around cars. My challenge is I am not a good driver. I like to look around constantly to see whats around. I also suffer from acute drivers rage, meaning I really hate everything other drivers do and the perceived wrong they have caused me.

image courtesy of ursispaltenstein.ch

I just can't see me riding to assignments on a bike......

#2- Not great with  Never used a gun - Hard one to over come  as I literally have zero experience with guns. I know you get training but it will be most likely that I shoot myself in the foot. I also have a slight problem with killing people.

#3- Couldn't have a separate life from my family - I cannot lie to my wife. I look in to those crystal blue eyes and confess everything. Our whole marriage is built around us talking and discussing everything that is going on. And then there's the boys, how cool would it be to go home and tell them I just added a virus to an evil lab that caused it to stop producing a super bacteria and instead made a popcorn tree that pops when the sun hits it.

#4- I love to gossip - Nothing better than a good solid gossip about the world. So I would just find it impossible to hold in that X diplomat is secretly enjoying the company of Y's wife. This would also be a problem if I was captured and tortured - my captors would pretty much run out of video tapes with all the stuff I'd be telling them.

image courtesy of newspaper.li

#5 I am quite forgetful - If I was to become a double agent who then got re-doubled, that's going to be a real problem. I once had to set an outlook reminder each month for 6 months of the year as I kept forgetting my wife's birthday.

#6 I see the good in people - I have a bit of a problem believing that people are all bad. I would want to keep giving people second chances, which could cause issues later down the track. Probably nothing worse than continually running into people you were supposed to "take care of " but didn't.

So I guess rather than become a spy and end up like the cast of "Spies like Us" that classic 80's comedy

Russian Interrogator : Every minute you don't tell us why you are here, I cut off a finger. 
Emmett Fitz-Hume:  Mine or yours? 
Russian Interrogator :  Yours. 
Emmett Fitz-Hume:  Damn! 


I'll just keep doing what I'm doing.........

How to get bat blood out of your couch

Stains are a part of everybody's life. As a Dad your going to come across some pretty interesting stuff. Some times you will be the stainer and sometimes it's the others who require assistance. Bottom line is you need to know how to remove some basic ( and other types ) of stains.

But first back to the title of this post. How did we get and then get rid of bat blood ?

We had left our intrepid In Laws in charge of the house whilst we went to see some New Year fireworks. "Somebody" left the wire screen door open and of course as could only happen to us a bat flew in the gap and started flying around the room, only to collide with the full speed ceiling fan peacefully attempting to cool down the house.

It bounced once and flopped on the couch.

Got its bearings and immediately took off into the fan again this time doing real damage and landed bleeding and stunned on the couch

A note about the couch - this is no ordinary couch, it was bought after much deliberating and sitting (on couches) , it's so huge it had to be hauled up to the balcony and brought in through the doors as it didn't fit up the stairs. The covering is micro suede and it wraps you up and makes you forget about the world whilst it lulls you to sleep. 

To say the beloved is obsessive about no stains on the couch is a gross understatement, at one stage we were only allowed clear drinks in case we spilt something ( so red wine was definitely out.

It was stain guarded within an inch of it's life but this doesn't matter.

So here we are with a blood stained couch, a mother in law locked in her room, a father in law holding the dog like Paris Hilton at a media event and no sign of the bat.

So the first thing was to....

Get the blood off the couch. The bat can wait. 

Soda water was procured (cold, as hot water sets the blood ) and off it came.

Stains come at you from any angle , grass , dirt, grease, kiwi fruit on a wall, funny black dust from the back of a mat, the list goes on.


Most of my help came from a book called Gloria's helpful household hints, because you have to be prepared and ready to remove any stain well before discovery if at all possible.

And as all of you know sometimes it's just too hard to explain how the stain came about.

Image courtesy of tips.cleaninghouselondon.co.uk

Battery Acid - will come out with a little bi-card soda and water. Mix it into a paste and let it dry. Scrape it off and sponge the stain.
Oil - Spread lots of talcum powder over the stain and then put some paper towel on top. You need to put the whole thing in a warm place because you want the oil to heat up and be drawn in to the powder and towel. You will need your patience on this one.
Cordial on carpet - Try a good carpet stain powder and then wash lightly with some Napisan in warm water

Over time you will find that you can build up a handy little repertoire of tricks to keep any child or object relatively clean whilst on your watch. This will help you
a) Stay married and
b) Look like you know what you are doing as a parent

And for the record -  I found the little fruit bat clinging to the curtains and released him into a tree. I hope he mentions my kindness to his other more larger and dangerous friends.

Being a new Dad - The first years (Pt 2)

When you start going out with someone, your family starts asking when you're getting engaged,

So you get engaged.

The your family start asking when your getting married,

So you get married

Then your family wants to know when your going to have babies,

So you have a baby

Then your family want to know when you going to have another baby,

So you have another child.

And here's where it gets interesting. You've now got two bundles of joy and the whole dynamic changes. I've always thought that the number of  years that separate the two kids will determine how they are going to behave towards each other. I'll let you know when the experiment finishes in 40 years.....

 They all start out cute

The first day we got the new Mr Junior home we decided to bath him, which of course made him cry. Mr Elder then started screaming to "Stop, Stop you're hurting him !!" his natural protective instinct had kicked in. I still laugh when I look back at that one. His little face all screwed up in rage and fear at us.
Come to think of it, he still does this with his face when I take away his computer privileges when I'm punishing him.

I still remember the first time they were in the bath together playing happily and I think it was Mr Junior who did a poo in the bath. Mr Elder jumped out like a scalded cat yelling and pointing which left poor Junior screaming and looking around trying to work out which part of him was broken because he thought he was falling apart.

We thought to ourselves how lucky we were to get two brothers who didn't fight or squabble over things as

for the next 6 months all Mr Junior would have to do was grunt and Mr Elder would come running over, pick something up and hand it to him. It drove us crazy as Mr Junior then refused to learn to crawl because he had his own personal slave to run around after him.

They even seemed to have worked out how to communicate via this grunting as Mr Elder would always know exactly what his brother needed.

 "Hey, I thought you said cartoons were on next ?!"

But it doesn't take long before they decide they are competing for your attention. And so begins the competition. I don't think they set out to antagonise each other - it just happens that way.

"Get out - I was here first !"

This is where your parenting skills along with your patience will be sorely tested. It seems as if every thing/toy/object one picks up immediately becomes the most desirable object in the universe and they both absolutely can not exist without it.

I makes you tear your hair out in frustration watching them fight over a stick one of them found on the ground or a cardboard box that a particularly expensive toy came in !
Anyway, with patience and a take no prisoners (King David style) approach you can get through it. Just as a side note your cupboards will become full of crap you have taken off them because they are fighting over it.

As I discussed in this post there are solutions you just really have to plan out what you're going to do.

Time waits for no man and as the days go by, they are now constantly trying to work out their place in the world whilst still being completely dependent on you. But because there are now two of them it becomes crowded in their world.

So the boys will then constantly push the boundaries of their world and as parents we will be the fence that gently pushes them back, after all we can not have them parading around naked just because they are "too hot" or have a water fight minutes before we leave for a party dressed in our good clothes.

Actually on party behavior - I extensively discuss what will and won't be acceptable at gatherings and functions. I do this because ..... well it's fair to say I may have caused some issues when I was younger. I convinced all the other kids that we should get on the roof because that's what you do at a BBQ. It turned out quite a few of them were scared of heights so it took some time to get them up there and it took a great deal of  time to get them back down.

But I digress. So now I have two boys and the world has changed yet again. Now begins the years that will shape them into the men that they will become.
I just have to remember to stop laughing out loud at fart jokes and sniggering when someone says something remotely mis-construable because I'm supposed to set a good example.

So take what you will from my experiences, as I march on savoring the moments and trying not to break anything on the way !






These precious moments when all the stars are aligned and they are friends for awhile are the ones you truly cherish. (So get a picture while you can!)

Survey time for all parents with toddlers.....

Time to help the world be a better place parents ! This survey is for all of my followers and avid readers with toddlers who are thinking have thought about swimming lessons.

A good friend of mine is putting together a website www.toddlerswimming.com which is going to be all about giving parents resources and informatioon about teaching the minions beloved children to swim.

In order to make this happen they need you guys to provide some feedback if you can via this little survey -  htttp://www.surveymonkey.com/s/BHLF6FB

Its much appreciated and will go along way to helping all parents with what can be a pretty daunting task.

Thank you all in advance !

image courtesy of sodahead

Things you should teach your kids (as a Dad it's kinda your responsibility)

As a Dad there is a whole range of things that you know and are (probably?) expected to teach your kids. Depending on what your dad taught you will depend on how you see the responsibility of passing on what knowledge and when.

So for example, I have found it very hard to teach the kids how to change a car tyre but very easy on how to start a fire ??!!

Also, Grandpa on the Go was a surgeon and I have assisted him with operations, but that doesn't mean I'm teaching the little dudes what I was shown. *


It's stuff that I was shown as I grew up, that is not only useful but actually helpful. Lets face it, you shouldn't have to ring a plumber every time a tap starts leaking.

I compiled this list because I know that schools today often don't teach this stuff and that's OK. The schools have to focus on forcing the minions kids into neat little bell curves and ensuring their university entrance rates remain over 80% and their NAPLAN scores are high, so I know it's up to us as Dads to get this vital knowledge passed on.

So here is part of a list that I will be teaching my sons, that I know that will help them get though life and that they will be able to pass on to their kids:

To Juggle
How to cook Spaghetti Bolognaise
Some self defense
All the different types of farts
How to pitch at Tent
How to catch fish and more importantly, how to clean a fish
How to play poker
How to change the oil on a car
How to light a fire
Some basic carpentry
3 clean jokes to tell
How to change a car tyre

How to change a tap washer
Basic bicycle maintenance
BBQ meat properly and know the difference between rare and medium !!
Apply a field dressing (important for my kids as I bleed a lot)
That's its Ok to lose (sometimes)
Iron your own shirt
Carve a roast chicken
And the most important thing - Family comes first.

The list isn't here in its entirety but you get the idea. We as Dads need to make sure that our kids don't get to their 20's and be unable to perform what I consider to be basic life skills.


* Especially after the incident with the cat. (I will write about this  later)

Image courtesy of paintingpetsandpeople.com