Thursday, December 1, 2011

Being a new Dad - The first years (Pt 2)

When you start going out with someone, your family starts asking when you're getting engaged,

So you get engaged.

The your family start asking when your getting married,

So you get married

Then your family wants to know when your going to have babies,

So you have a baby

Then your family want to know when you going to have another baby,

So you have another child.

And here's where it gets interesting. You've now got two bundles of joy and the whole dynamic changes. I've always thought that the number of  years that separate the two kids will determine how they are going to behave towards each other. I'll let you know when the experiment finishes in 40 years.....

 They all start out cute

The first day we got the new Mr Junior home we decided to bath him, which of course made him cry. Mr Elder then started screaming to "Stop, Stop you're hurting him !!" his natural protective instinct had kicked in. I still laugh when I look back at that one. His little face all screwed up in rage and fear at us.
Come to think of it, he still does this with his face when I take away his computer privileges when I'm punishing him.

I still remember the first time they were in the bath together playing happily and I think it was Mr Junior who did a poo in the bath. Mr Elder jumped out like a scalded cat yelling and pointing which left poor Junior screaming and looking around trying to work out which part of him was broken because he thought he was falling apart.

We thought to ourselves how lucky we were to get two brothers who didn't fight or squabble over things as
for the next 6 months all Mr Junior would have to do was grunt and Mr Elder would come running over, pick something up and hand it to him. It drove us crazy as Mr Junior then refused to learn to crawl because he had his own personal slave to run around after him.

They even seemed to have worked out how to communicate via this grunting as Mr Elder would always know exactly what his brother needed.

 "Hey, I thought you said cartoons were on next ?!"

But it doesn't take long before they decide they are competing for your attention. And so begins the competition. I don't think they set out to antagonise each other - it just happens that way.

"Get out - I was here first !"

This is where your parenting skills along with your patience will be sorely tested. It seems as if every thing/toy/object one picks up immediately becomes the most desirable object in the universe and they both absolutely can not exist without it.

I makes you tear your hair out in frustration watching them fight over a stick one of them found on the ground or a cardboard box that a particularly expensive toy came in !
Anyway, with patience and a take no prisoners (King David style) approach you can get through it. Just as a side note your cupboards will become full of crap you have taken off them because they are fighting over it.

As I discussed in this post there are solutions you just really have to plan out what you're going to do.

Time waits for no man and as the days go by, they are now constantly trying to work out their place in the world whilst still being completely dependent on you. But because there are now two of them it becomes crowded in their world.

So the boys will then constantly push the boundaries of their world and as parents we will be the fence that gently pushes them back, after all we can not have them parading around naked just because they are "too hot" or have a water fight minutes before we leave for a party dressed in our good clothes.

Actually on party behavior - I extensively discuss what will and won't be acceptable at gatherings and functions. I do this because ..... well it's fair to say I may have caused some issues when I was younger. I convinced all the other kids that we should get on the roof because that's what you do at a BBQ. It turned out quite a few of them were scared of heights so it took some time to get them up there and it took a great deal of  time to get them back down.

But I digress. So now I have two boys and the world has changed yet again. Now begins the years that will shape them into the men that they will become.
I just have to remember to stop laughing out loud at fart jokes and sniggering when someone says something remotely mis-construable because I'm supposed to set a good example.

So take what you will from my experiences, as I march on savoring the moments and trying not to break anything on the way !

These precious moments when all the stars are aligned and they are friends for awhile are the ones you truly cherish. (So get a picture while you can!)

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