A new pot and and the break up

This weeks culinary post involves change in our lives. The (now ritual) Sunday night cook up with the youngest son has branched out nicely with such dishes as hand made gnococci with 4 types of mushroom sauce and even a lasagne with 7 types of roasted meat in it. In the search for new dishes, new authors are sought out and this week a Chinese dish was presented for production.

Regardless of how you view me, at heart - I'm Lazy guy.

This means if I can only use one pot then all good. If not I will immediately invoke the " I cooked you have to clean" rule. This is especially true if it was a messy dish that required every pot and pan in the house.

So the idea of a one pot meal has intrigued me greatly. The main problem is I have never had a "one pot"

Its something that has eluded me until now. I was admiring an earthen ware pot in the store near me, the sales lady called out to me from behind the counter " Very good pot, can do everything" then I thought what the assistant then said was "one is in Chinese and one is in English, you need the English one" So I started sorting the boxes in to piles of Chinese marked boxes and English marked boxes. Turns out what she actually said was " one side is in Chinese and the other side is in English just turn the box over"

Now I have to throw out something out because the cupboard is full and because clutter is not good
As per this post you need to be organised you can't keep everything. Problem is I'm chicken.

I don't know which item to move out in the cupboard to make room for my new baby.

So I delegated the task. I left the pot on the bench above the cupboard and waited. And as per standard operating procedure, the beloved cleaned the cupboard and found room for the pot. The mere fact that something did not have a place was just too much for her to bear.

So now I don't have the guilt of having to look at the pot or item that was discarded and say " Thanks but it's time we broke up as I need to use other pots "

Its essentials a win / win situation.

I'm just to soft when it comes to this sort of thing.

Anyway on the the recipe.

2 Brown onions chopped
50g ginger
some coriander stalks chopped
3 cloves of garlic
60ml oil
1.25 kg of shin or brisket cut into 4cm chunks
2 tsp Chinese 5 spice powder
6 star anise
1 tsp peppercorns
1/2 cup of brown sugar
1/4 cup light soy sauce + 2 tsp dark soy sauce
2 tsp tomato paste
700ml beef stock

Jasmine rice to serve.

Preheat the oven to160c

Grind up the ginger, coriander and garlic in to a paste ( I used the mortar and pestle because it's fun )

Heat up the pot on the stove top with the oil, cook the beef for 3-4 mins in batches and set aside.

Lower the heat to about half and cook the paste you made with 1/3 of a cup of water for 3 mins. Add the star anise, five spice and peppercorns, cook for another minute and then add the soy sauces, sugar, tomato paste and the beef. Sir thoroughly and then add the stock so it just covers the beef. Bring to to boil then put on the lid and transfer the pot to the oven for 2.5 hours.

It will look like this - sort of a stew

Remove the beef from the mixture with a slotted spoon and set aside in a warm spot. Boil the remaining sauce on the stove top until it reduces to at least half the volume and thickens up a little.

Put back in the beef  and you're ready to go. Serve with the rice.

I just can't do jail - I'm way too soft

It's decided then.

Jail is just not a place that I can be.

The police are not polite, the guards don't like you, everybody shouts at you all the time and the food is an absolute disaster. Jail is just not a place that a polite middle aged man like me will ever survive.

As I did last year, again this year I have participated in the White Lion Bailout,  to raise much needed funds for disadvantaged youth in trouble and help support the programs that assist them in getting their lives back on track.

As a father of two young men on the way I am keen to help other youngsters find their way in the world without the problems and distractions that come at us  from all directions

Anyway once we had raised the requisite funds through a series of sausage sizzles, lolly sales and raffles we were ready to go.
That's the difference with this event - In order to participate you have to raise the required bail for each team member.

And I have to tell you in this day and age raising funds for charities has become guerrilla warfare. You need to be doing something different to attract donations not only for your charity, but even for your event to raise funds for your charity.
Everyone seems to have " wallet fatigue " for the huge number of charities trying to continue on with the work they do. It's sad that you can't help them all, but you simply have to decide what you are going to do and support and stick to it.

So after being processed (finger printed and photographed) it was off to the holding cells. As you can see they didn't seem to search us too well.

The toilets are not appealing at all, so you just hold on.

After all our time in the slammer we had our day in court.

I know its all light hearted and that they are creating an experience for us to remind us that these are kids in real trouble, but at some of the stations the message is particularly difficult.

When they began to show us how drugs are created and where they are hidden it was very clear that I will never be able to be a drug user.

The hardest stop is the padded cell in which they recreate a troubled girls life who didn't show up to her court appearance - because she is dead. The question left with us is - Who let her down ? The answer just isn't clear and raises many more questions in my mind.

So armed with the little bit of insight on how easy is is for kids to stray on to the wrong path and knowing that the things I do will contribute to how they make those decisions. I will be back next year to continue to help in any way I can whilst I try to raise two boys into two men  - who, like me are completely un-suited to jail.

As a Dad you're probably going through something simliar

I often sit and wonder why I'm the only Dad with challenges in raising my kids. I understand there's going to be challenges, that's what makes being a parent so great. But why all the other stuff ?

After all, I was a perfect child who never gave my parents a lick of trouble ever, so why  do mine ? *

image coutesy of themomsbuzz.com

Simple things like getting them to clean their rooms through to complex things like putting more effort into school assignments seemed to be a never ending source of debate  and discussion and you start to wonder  - I am even doing this right ?

And after having another heated discussion with The Eldest son about levels of effort in his homework, I was feeling pretty down. Some days just seem like a never evening military campaign to illuminate the locals and set them on the path of economic freedom. Let us win your hearts and minds or we'll burn your damn huts down, sort of thing.

I wasn't the greatest student so I want to ensure my kids don't make the same mistakes I made and I'm keen to not let them suffer through some past misadventures that I should have definitely have been warned about.

Now the Beloved and I are a fearsome team. We are absolutely on the same side when it comes to the minions. But sometimes being a Dad is kinda like being a light house keeper - You know your job is important, but you never really know if you are doing it right because it's just you.

So what to do ? Who do I talk to ? It's been previously discussed on this blog about the difficulties faced when meeting / talking to other Dads. You certainly don't want to go around exposing your issues to all and sundry.

And I can't talk to Grandpa on the Go about it. The issues he faced with me were different. Or is it just me wanting that to be the case - it's all too hard, so don't worry just keep going .

image courtesy of belleamiemotherofthree.com

What an eye opener it was when I accidentally had lunch one day with another Dad and he confessed to me about having an argument with his son. It was exactly the same argument over exactly the same piece of homework with his son that I had had with mine. We ended up chatting for the entire lunch about these challenges and swapping war stories.

And with that small piece of revelation I started asking questions at every opportunity. Listening and realising that we were all going through the same thing.

Too much {insert video game name here} not enough homework.

Arguing over Internet usage.

Getting them to do chores around the house. It went on.

I  like to see myself as a pretty easy going guy and I try not to be an overbearing Dad. But you have to teach (boys especially) that their are boundaries and limits. And now that I know we can't solve every challenge / crisis but at least there are other Dads with some advice or at the very least a sympathetic ear, I'm back on track.

So now I attend the dinners with other Dads. I'm even thinking about setting some up. And I listen and ask questions every time.

So let me give you one task to do this week - Go find another Dad with similar aged kids to yours and talk to them and even more importantly - Listen.

Who knows you might just be surprised.

* May not be accurate statement

Start Paying attention or you'll miss it.....

As I try to carefully listen to my youngest son telling me all about his football game at lunchtime and how someone cheated and then why the ball was in and not out and .......My mind has drifted to the time I once wrote an piece for a conference about communicating in business, it was meant to be all about how we can do it better so I wrote the following :


"If you force people in to accepting the message in the way you communicate, they lose the ability to choose how they  receive the message and therefore lose control of how they want to be communicated to and will therefore lose some /all of the meaning you are trying to convey."


It was certainly a long sentence and quite frankly I should hang my head in shame.What a mouthful. 


Maybe what I was actually trying to say -" Don't control how people receive the message, control their preferences on how they want to be communicated to."

What I should have told the delegates is " No one listens properly". Take a lesson from how you communicate with your kids and go from there.

image courtesy of fixpacifica.blogspot.com

So lets do just that. Lets look at how kids listen to their parents.After all who hasn't had the battles with their kids and not listening ?

What on earth makes them continue on well after you have told them clearly to stop ?

Why does the phrase "Stop it you'll hurt someone / knock something over" get ignored until you are pouring litres of soda water on to a red wine stain in the vain hope it could be removed.
In the mean time time your rug now looks like it once held a homicide victim complete with a blood stain from a crime scene on CSI.

Well probably because of a couple of reasons, your kids are a direct reflection of you so if you don't listen to them they probably won't listen to you. Also asking your kids 10 times to do something gives them a good indication that your going to nag them anyway and they have 9 more times to do something after you've asked them the first time.

Ask yourself if you listened when your parents told you not to throw the cat off the garage roof to see if it landed on its feet. Again.

Exactly my point.

But I digress. So how does that apply to us? Same principle.

How frustrating is it explaining something to someone and then someone else says the same as you did and they agree with the other person and tell you they're right ?

Every ones in a rush so they don't listen properly. They all assume by the first few words you say what the rest of the message is going to be. Kinda like speed reading, you read the first few words of the phrases and go from there.

It's frustrating - but deep down we all do it. Hell -  I do it all the time and then have to make a decision based on what I thought I heard after the person (usually The Beloved) says " What do you think?"
And after the first time not listening, I ended shopping for clothes - I learnt my lesson.

Maybe that's all it needs for someone to listen properly, a lesson in what happens when they don't listen.

 I wonder where the cat is..........

image courtesy of reactionface.info

Things just aren't like they used to be and I'm ok with that

As I watch my two sons grow up in the world it has become apparent that not everything is the same as when I was a child. Before you scoff and reach for your keyboards to proclaim "oh derr fred !!" Just be patient.....
Things have changed and are still changing at a great rate of knots I know that, but its not just technology that  the change has been applied to.

There are people whose entire job in life is to make everything you want either ready to go or almost instant.

It's the little things that I have noticed. Such as nowadays you only have to wait 90 secs for your porridge. Not only that it comes in 90 different flavours as apparently the old flavour of oats just doesn't cut it any more. My porridge used to be made in a pot, with whole unprocessed and unflavoured oats and took at least 10 mins.

image courtesy of telegraph.co.uk

Not any more...and it's not like rushing it will make it any better. To get oats to cook quicker they have beaten the life out of them. Therefore point of oats = Lost.

You used to buy the ingredients to make your pasta for dinner. Now you go to the freezer section buy the ready to go pasta meal and the claim is it's ready in 7 minutes. When did it become so onerous that the 14 minutes it takes to cook pasta is too long ?

Try telling a kid that their favourite TV show isn't on again until next week, they will just look at you and ask "Why ? haven't they filmed it yet ?" They just don't understand that the network wants you to wait until next week to watch again.

When the Simpson's first started to appear on commercial TV, you used to eagerly await until the next episode came out and it was then eagerly discussed the next day at school. People used to schedule their activities around these situations. In fact Grandpa on the Go used to tell me that he used to have to go to the cinema to get the next episode of his favourite shows.

But not anymore, everything is available all the time.

They live in a world that is literally instant.

They think that email is old and redundant.

They think instant messaging is pointless. They have gone back to the one thing that everyone has said is redundant - Telephone calls. Now days of course they call each other via Skype or a variant of -  but you get my point. They talk to each other just like we used to.
They also back this up with text but most of the time they are simply chatting as if they are right next to each other.

It used to be that the smartest people on earth really struggled to get jobs and adjust to societal ways, I remember reading about the guy who had the highest IQ in Australia. He couldn't get a job and had trouble associating with others. Nowadays Google gets them a bean chair and anything they want. It's a apparently a job requirement to be not able to get along with others.

Even though all these changes and drive to save time and effort are constantly evolving - I don't mind.
After all I don't actually have to take advantage of these changes. I have discovered that there are safe havens where the lost arts are till practiced. In fact they're encouraged.

So as I tune into the eighties on my radio and make porridge in a pot I remind myself that just because they have made things faster , they haven't made them any better............

image courtesy of simplyeighties.com

Being Average

When people use the word average to describe somebody or something it tends to be used in a negative way. If you come back from a restaurant and say the food was average everyone you say this to will immediately not go there. This is because with food their expectation is that when they go out to eat that they will be "wow'd" or taken somewhere their taste buds didn't expect. Average just won't cut it.

So how on this green earth did this cross over to our kids ?

Nowadays for some parents if your kid isn't super bright or super stupid you're told or lead to believe that there is something wrong. I'm serious.

Being average is becoming a stigma. But let me tell you - Average people succeed all the time.

Take for example the below list of people you would all know -

Walt Disney - Average student
Henry Ford - Average student
Milton Hershey - Only had a 4th grade education and look at his company Hershey's Chocolate
Mahatma Gandhi - Apparently was thrown out of Medical school because he kept failing.

and who can forget Albert Einstein, who was removed from school because they said he was "slow". It was his mother who insisted that he keep trying different ways of learning.

Why isn't average ok any more ? When did we wake up and say "oops that's not working".

What's worse is parents bragging about how much help their child is getting to stop being average.

I read this (quite lengthy) article forwarded on to me on how to put your child in therapy , so you can see how easy it is to get it wrong just by over doing it.

image courtesy of blog.pwnthesat.com

But I'm still confused as to how average became bad.

I blame the way we look at the world today, we only look at the top and the bottom not the middle. Only the really great and the really bad are of interest. It's this middle where most of us are and maybe it's because of our new found short span of attention that has led us to believe that the middle just isn't interesting any more.

Try this test on yourself - try remembering the last time you were watching a You Tube Video that went for more than 6 minutes and you watched all the way to the end. (By the way, apparently the average You Tube video is 4 mins 12 secs long)

So to all of us averages - I say congratulations on being the majority, I am an average guy. I'm not super smart and I have an average job and I'm actually really happy with that. In fact, I'm actually very happy in general.

And to those aspiring to be above average - I say to you -  stop it you're just making it harder for yourself, and not only that your going to be constantly unhappy looking for it.

So be happy with what you have and more importantly use it to your advantage.

Now if it's ok with you I'm going to make my self an average cup of tea in an average cup and enjoy the rest of the day.

Don't be so quick to judge

Well here it is - the 100th Dad on the Go Post. What a journey it has been ! Thank you to each and everyone of you as loyal readers and followers readers who have supported and encouraged me. And a huge thank you to The beloved whose constant support and regular beatings feedback, have made this blog what it is today. Anyway enough guff lets get on with it.


judg·ment

 

noun

1.

an act or instance of judging.

2.

the ability to judge, make a decision, or form an opinion objectively, authoritatively, and wisely, especially in mattersaffecting action; good sense; discretion: a man of sound judgment.

3.

the forming of an opinion, estimate, notion, or conclusion, as from circumstances presented to the mind: Our judgment as to the cause of his failure must rest on the evidence.

4.

the opinion formed: He regretted his hasty judgment.

One of the harder things to teach your children is not to judge people. It's hard because - well - we do it all the time. It's not hard to do. Look at some one - decide who they - are and what they represent and bang you're done.

In fact we're encouraged to judge people.

Were encouraged by the media to do. They have entire TV shows around it. Look at the Top Model shows, What not To Wear and don't get me started on Masterchef. How they managed to suck the fun out of preparing meals for people beggars belief.

image courtesy of articles.nydailynews.com

The tabloids spend all day telling you how guilty people are and how bad they are even before you have time to get to know them over a cup of tea and 2  minutes on Google search. They specialise in ensuring you form judgements in their prepackaged descriptions of events and people.

Sometimes it can even catch up to you later on.

The beloved was painfully reminded very early on about judgement, when the little fella was in kindergarten and one of the other Mums came in and he exclaimed loudly :

"Look mummy , look at that lady, look she's really really fat ! Mummy look !"

So now we keep our comments to ourselves during The Biggest Loser.

I know its so easy to do, take for example the supermarket car park. As you know from this post it's a tough place. So it's very difficult not to scream out judge, when people are searching for a car park completely oblivious to all the cars behind them that are building up into their own car park.

They stop look and wait. Then repeat that 3 or 4 more times, trying to find the perfect park.

And then when they do find a park, in they slowly go. By now you would have completely worked out who they are and what other ills they have brought to the world during their annoying existence.

How quickly you retreat from your judgement, when they finally get out of your way and  two little old ladies exit the car, whose average age resembles an inner suburban postcode.

And what about when you are walking along the footpath, knowing exactly in your mind where you are going and what you are going to do when you get there- when all of a sudden the person in front of you stops right in the middle of a footpath with out checking who is behind or what the impact is.

Snap judgements form instantly in your mind not to mention the annoyance that you now have.

If you want to see how sensitive to judgement we are - try this little experiment. Next time you are walking down the street pick a person coming the other way toward you.

Got em in sight ? Ok - now look at their face and then at another part of them with out any expression on your face.

And now back a their face and hold their gaze.

See how they self consciously check themselves are draw their coat or jacket around their body or check that their hair is fine. It's because they think you are judging them.

So as I try not to yell and keep my patience I also now have to add not judging people as well to the list of this I have to do. After all I can't have the kids screaming at little old ladies in the car park now can I !





.