How to get bat blood out of your couch

Stains are a part of everybody's life. As a Dad your going to come across some pretty interesting stuff. Some times you will be the stainer and sometimes it's the others who require assistance. Bottom line is you need to know how to remove some basic ( and other types ) of stains.

But first back to the title of this post. How did we get and then get rid of bat blood ?

We had left our intrepid In Laws in charge of the house whilst we went to see some New Year fireworks. "Somebody" left the wire screen door open and of course as could only happen to us a bat flew in the gap and started flying around the room, only to collide with the full speed ceiling fan peacefully attempting to cool down the house.

It bounced once and flopped on the couch.

Got its bearings and immediately took off into the fan again this time doing real damage and landed bleeding and stunned on the couch

A note about the couch - this is no ordinary couch, it was bought after much deliberating and sitting (on couches) , it's so huge it had to be hauled up to the balcony and brought in through the doors as it didn't fit up the stairs. The covering is micro suede and it wraps you up and makes you forget about the world whilst it lulls you to sleep. 

To say the beloved is obsessive about no stains on the couch is a gross understatement, at one stage we were only allowed clear drinks in case we spilt something ( so red wine was definitely out.

It was stain guarded within an inch of it's life but this doesn't matter.

So here we are with a blood stained couch, a mother in law locked in her room, a father in law holding the dog like Paris Hilton at a media event and no sign of the bat.

So the first thing was to....

Get the blood off the couch. The bat can wait. 

Soda water was procured (cold, as hot water sets the blood ) and off it came.

Stains come at you from any angle , grass , dirt, grease, kiwi fruit on a wall, funny black dust from the back of a mat, the list goes on.


Most of my help came from a book called Gloria's helpful household hints, because you have to be prepared and ready to remove any stain well before discovery if at all possible.

And as all of you know sometimes it's just too hard to explain how the stain came about.

Image courtesy of tips.cleaninghouselondon.co.uk

Battery Acid - will come out with a little bi-card soda and water. Mix it into a paste and let it dry. Scrape it off and sponge the stain.
Oil - Spread lots of talcum powder over the stain and then put some paper towel on top. You need to put the whole thing in a warm place because you want the oil to heat up and be drawn in to the powder and towel. You will need your patience on this one.
Cordial on carpet - Try a good carpet stain powder and then wash lightly with some Napisan in warm water

Over time you will find that you can build up a handy little repertoire of tricks to keep any child or object relatively clean whilst on your watch. This will help you
a) Stay married and
b) Look like you know what you are doing as a parent

And for the record -  I found the little fruit bat clinging to the curtains and released him into a tree. I hope he mentions my kindness to his other more larger and dangerous friends.