Friday, July 12, 2013

The Toilet and The male

This week I'm going to try and have a serious discussion about a serious topic. This is for all the blokes and their sons out there who are probably doing untold damage to their respective mothers and partners ( not to mention the environs ) with their behaviour.

Its probably not all intentional, but it is certainly undesirable.

I doubt it will remain serious but hey at least I tried.

I'm talking about the smallest room in the house. I’m talking about the toilet.

The porcelain bus
The big white phone
The dunny
The can
The head

The list goes on but you get what I mean. It's the most visited room in the house but the least talked about ( unless someone is complaining about it )

With the birth of our Sons the beloved knew that toilet training was going to be a challenge. Having put up with my mates and their inaccuracy for years she was ready for the difficult road ahead. It seemed to be resolved the day they were handed cleaning clothes and told to clean their own toilet. 

What is it with us men and toilets ? Why are we seemingly so oblivious to the rest of the world and their feelings ?

It's certainly not a BBQ discussion topic and let’s face it most of the time it’s just a quick whizz and you're off again. 

But sometimes you've been to dinner and your friend /s have used some bizarre ingredient from the back of the cupboard fridge and quite frankly it's not going to resolve itself quickly or easily.

And even if we did discuss it it would probably go something like this " I remember once when I was a kid my friend reckoned his Great Grandma said to him once ""Where is the smallest room in the house ? So he told her. 10 minutes later he found  her in the pantry with her pants down. Insert roaring laughter here.

So are there rules ?

Of course - just as there are rules in regards to gym change rooms ( look only at each other in the eye etc.) , there are rules that our spouses want us to follow

Don’t look at me like that. You heard me the first time.  Your spouse is going to be a whole lot happier if you follow these simple rules.

So below is listed the things I'm told to incorporate in to my life as a male.

1) Fans – Most bathrooms have them already built in to the light switch so it goes on when you turn on the light, but if it doesn't turn it on. No ifs or buts. ( see what I did there)
2) Sprays – I'm a bit divided here. I mean masking the odours is fine but no –one wants their house smelling like a blend Tahitian flowers and animal based compost. So use your judgement on this one.
3) Doors – 1 rule here. Close it. Nuff said.

So there you have it. It’s not that difficult now is it ?

Yet it seems to escape most of us. So in the vain hope my boys will one day read this I'll post it here and hope.

Enough said.

No comments:

Post a Comment